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Pulling a Johnson

Pulling a Johnson is a video game term for completing a multiplayer matchmaking game without earning a single kill against the opposing team.

Players that pull a Johnson help their team in absolutely no way. They only ensure defeat for the team, merciless mockery and a cloud of shame for pulling a Johnson.
Damn it Clint you died 20 times and got no kills. Great job pulling a Johnson!
by TurtleMoney April 10, 2021
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Dwayne Johnson

An extremely large bowel movement, or verb describing the production of said bowel movement. Named as a metaphor for the quality of Dwayne Johnson's (aka "The Rock") acting performance.
as a noun: "Holy crap, who left that giant Dwayne Johnson in my toilet it, it's gonna clog it up".
as a verb "Oh man, you seriously did not just Dwayne Johnson all over my shirt."
by sempr549 February 22, 2010
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Magic Johnson's Johnson Gambit

The well-known and liberally discussed philisophical debate on whether or not it would be worth one billion dollars to suck on Magic Johnson's HIV infected cock until completion on live television.

It is generally acknowledged that, of the two camps, those of the opinion that it is worth the one billion dollars are not affected by further augmentations to the wager for the sake of humiliation (for example, ass to mouth, or ass to goat to mouth, or ass to goat to contestant's mom, to mouth, etc...)
Alex said he'd take the Magic Johnson's Johnson Gambit, cure aids, execute anyone who's ever seen the video, and cackle with maniacal cachinations as he fucked Natalie Portman nightly in his custom sex dungeon, the likes of which Gary Gygax has never seen.

Still, everyone would.. know...
by Scottee Mac November 25, 2010
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robert johnson

Incredibly talented blues guitarist inspired by Delta blues greats like Son House and Charley Patton. Tremendous influence on 1960s rockers like Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and Keith Richards. While much of his writing may have been borrowed from earlier artists, Johnson was also an outstanding vocalist and guitarist.
For a true blues experience, listen to the first take of "Come on in my Kitchen".
by The Jack of Hearts July 21, 2008
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Fat johnson

A dick with a large circumference thereby appearing fat or wide.
Stan split Matty's ass wide open with his xtra fat johnson!
by zoobreath May 19, 2008
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Johnsoned

The act of losing dis dick or your testicles
Ah shit i just crushed my nuts against my bike’s seat. I think i just got johnsoned.
by Dis Dick_12 October 27, 2020
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Stroking Johnson

Ignorant Donkey was sitting home stroking Johnson, while I was in the Dominican Republic getting laid.
by BobbyWaves August 21, 2016
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