A student who seeks the most pretentious major he can get. He is probably absurdly
smart and likes to flaunt that quality. He can be a
real asshole - mostly because he's always right. When seeking a haughty intellectual, always look for that analytic philosopher.
Peer: Dude, I know you slept with my girlfriend last night.
Philosophy Major: You have no reason to believe that.
Peer: I
don't have to believe it. I know it.
Philosophy Major: Knowledge consists in part of beliefs. What evidence do you have to believe that?
Peer: She confessed to me about it this morning. Dude, I can't believe she even did it with you!
Philosophy Major: So you
don't believe her? Then you
don't know.
Peer: I believe her. She said it.
Philosophy Major: And you'
re believing her account over mine? Which is more miraculous to you: the concept that she would sleep with me or the concept that she wouldn't?
Peer: That she would sleep with such a pretentious
asshole.
Philosophy Major: Well isn't the most miraculous the most unlikely?
Peer: All I know is that you'd
better watch your back tonight.
Philosophy Major: You should be most likely to believe the least miraculous.
Peer: Dude, you'
re right. You are too much of a dick for her to sleep with.
Philosophy Major: I think that'
s the reason she liked it so much.
