A student who seeks the most pretentious major he can get. He is probably absurdly smart and likes to flaunt that quality. He can be a real asshole - mostly because he's always right. When seeking a haughty intellectual, always look for that analytic philosopher.
Peer: Dude, I know you slept with my girlfriend last night.
Philosophy Major: You have no reason to believe that.
Peer: I don't have to believe it. I know it.
Philosophy Major: Knowledge consists in part of beliefs. What evidence do you have to believe that?
Peer: She confessed to me about it this morning. Dude, I can't believe she even did it with you!
Philosophy Major: So you don't believe her? Then you don't know.
Peer: I believe her. She said it.
Philosophy Major: And you're believing her account over mine? Which is more miraculous to you: the concept that she would sleep with me or the concept that she wouldn't?
Peer: That she would sleep with such a pretentious asshole.
Philosophy Major: Well isn't the most miraculous the most unlikely?
Peer: All I know is that you'd better watch your back tonight.
Philosophy Major: You should be most likely to believe the least miraculous.
Peer: Dude, you're right. You are too much of a dick for her to sleep with.
Philosophy Major: I think that's the reason she liked it so much.
by Philosocrapper April 13, 2013
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An undergraduate student who intends on finding no work once s/he graduates from college.
I'm a philosophy major who lights joints by setting my parents' money on fire.
by dilary huff July 27, 2010
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Latte drinking douche bag in starbucks with a laptop.
Client: "One large hazelnut latte with whipped cream and cinnamon please."
Salesman 1: "Got ourselves another freshman philosophy major..."
Salesman 2: "Yes, yes we do."
by jjobson February 20, 2013
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A person who thinks that her or his oversimplified answer will solve a controversial debate. The person is normally is in the late teens and the subject matter is usually religious, political, or ethical.
The phrase originates from the most common source of this stereotype.
"What does she look so smug about?"
"You mean Freshman Philosophy Major? After an intro philosophy class she thinks she can definitively prove that God does not exist."
by Mr. Mulch December 3, 2006
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