handling the old lady

Another term for “fingering the ol’ foxhole”; female masturbation.

Martha found herself late for the bus because she was handling the old lady.

by Hswan33 May 6, 2018

Old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch

When your homie starts laggin’ behind and starts being lazy as fuck

God damn it Jarvis, quit actin’ like an old lady playin’ squat tag in an asparagus patch and get movin.’

by Don’tbelievethehype August 1, 2020

old lady's cupboards

When something literally has the smell or taste of an old lady's cupboards. It is not an euphemism.

-An old lady once gave me a KitKat chocolate brar that she had in her cupboard for 5 years, and it literally tasted like old lady's cupboards.
-Is old lady's cupboards some kind of euphemism?
(laughter and hilarity all around)
-No, it is not.

by WonderWumbo October 18, 2020

cranky old lady

the cranky old lady is someone who asked you to take down your trampoline and puts a no parking sign next to your car. basically she is a difficult old woman who thinks all expats are rude.

“did you see the cranky old lady?”

“yes” jude said “we all put sausages covered in ketchup on her car!”

*the group cackles*

by Black Nose Charles II December 28, 2023

Old White Lady Syndrome

When a person patronizes or orders others around to do simple things, entitled to others caring for their needs and wants. Other people’s needs are not as important no matter the urgency.

Person 1: I need to go to the restroom. OWLS person: I need my pillow fluffed, can you hand me my chapstick I need my toes covered completely.
Person 1: I almost peed my pants because she has OWLS (old white lady syndrome) and needed everything done for her.

by Lifelearnedhard November 19, 2023