Hockey 

Some sort of rudimentary sport where white Catholic players are armed with sticks and beat the shit out of each other. I think it is still played in the north somewhere. Since afro's are too smart to live up there where it's too cold to screw, the contests are rarely shown on TV, especially when there's a golf tournament somewhere.

He: "I tell ya, that Wayne Gretzky is the greatest athlete of all time!"

She: "That's 'cause Afro's don't play hockey.

Hockey by hoze-a October 15, 2006

Hockey 

Pussies need not apply. Hockey players take catastrophic hits (like in football, except the guy is speeding at you twice as fast on skates), are expected to throw their bodies in front of 130km/h slap shots, regularly have bloody fist fights, and players have been known to break a bone on shift and yet stay on the ice only to score a goal...in other sports (HRM soccer HRM) they get pushed on the grass and they grab their chins in 'agony'. Unlike soccer, matches usually end with more than a single goal and four shots on net, and unlike basketball they don't have a hundred points only to have the game decided by a single one... if every basketball game is going to end 90-89 why not let them play for one minute and decide the winner from that. Hockey is the best mixture of both - its fast enough with enough goals and chances to make it exciting when one happens, and there isn't SO many goals that it becomes a non-event when one happens.

"Ya man, I watched the soccer match... it ended nil-nil and pretty much was them kicking the ball around in the center of the field."

"Yaaaaa well I watched basketball. They scored so many goals that I just stopped caring.

"I watched baseball dude. At least, that was before I slipped into the coma."

"Well I watched FOOOOTBAAAALLL RAWWRRRRRR...Rrrrrrr....rrrr...."

"I watched hockey...it was an exciting game all the way through..with 5 goals in total it made each one exciting and game changing without being so few that it becomes pointless to watch the game instead of the highlights...oh and did you see Crosby beat the shit out of Ovechkin?"

Hockey by charliee12 April 7, 2010

hockey 

Back in the day there was a shitty sport named hockey that no one watched, but for some reason remained on telivision, then the players decided they wanted more money and the owners said "but we aren't making any money" so the NHL stopped being aired and now the world is finally pure, like when the beubonic plague died out or when the holocaust ended.

Fran "Did you watch the hockey game last night?"

Steve "Are you gay?"

hockey by supah February 3, 2005

hockey 

Soccer played on ice. But instead of a an actual ball used, hockey uses something that came out of a urinal called a puck!

Hockey is not a sport. Hockey is 3 things going on at the same time. Ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of someone!

hockey by tatomuck1 August 23, 2009

hockey 

1. The most unpopular North American professional league sport. So unpopular that while Canada invented the sport and is proud of it, most of their teams have left to play in American cities. 2.A sport that nobody gives a damn about even though the 2005 NHL season has been cancelled. 3. The only major north american sport to have its season completely cancelled.

Man, hockey is so boring that the big networks will not show the Stanley Cups final on prime time network television; it gets relegated to tape delayed cable channels like espn.

hockey by NBA Baller February 19, 2005

hockey 

Soccer played on ice. But instead of a ball being used used, hockey uses something that came out of a urinal called a puck!

Hockey is not a sport. A real sport is something played with a ball. Hockey is 3 things going on at once. Ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody!

hockey by tatomuck1 August 13, 2009

hockey 

piece of shit game (purposely not using the word sport) that is only played by canadians, russians and idiot americans that sucked so bad it's not even on tv anymore.

Frank: I hate John.
Rick: Yeah, he's worse than shit-on-a-stick. (substitute shit-on-a-stick with hockey)

hockey by eugene levy February 10, 2005