sleeping condiments

Anything you sleep with or need to get to sleep. i.e.: Pillows, blankets, lingerie, teddy bears, blow up dolls, or blow up mattresses.

Don't forget to bring your sleeping condiments when you come for the fourth.

by MamaPea July 8, 2017

condomfetti

mass quantites of condoms (new in wrappers) are thrown around like confetti at a party.
a fairly disgusting concept. one should avoid any party where condomfetti will be thrown around.

Bill and Bob thought it would be a great idea to get some condomfetti for the party they were planning, thinking it would lead to many "happy endings". however, they neglected to realize how hard it would be to clean up all the condomfetti after the party and had some explaining to do when their parents came home.

by pb foot January 17, 2010

Condimental Divide

When you and your romantic partner, spouse, family member, or friend share opposing, strong opinions about a specific condiment, such as ketchup/catsup or mayonnaise.
-As coined by Mark Garrison on the podcast "The Sporkful".

Person 1: "You like Miracle Whip? Gross!"
Person 2: "No, mayo is gross; Miracle Whip is good."
Person 1: "We can't hang out anymore. I can't get over the Condimental Divide."

Person 1: "I dumped my girlfriend because she put ketchup on her hot dog. That's just WRONG!"
Person 2: "Another relationship destroyed by the Condimental Divide."

by JRadimus April 10, 2011

Condescending Wonka

A meme that shows a picture of Willy Wonka talking to the childeren on the tour resting on his arm. The captions around it usually say something condescending such as:

So you have a child at 18? You must be so mature.

There are close to 7 billion people in the world and your one true love happens to go to the same school as you? How convenient.

You made a Condescending Wonka meme? You must be so clever and witty.

by CondescendingWanker January 3, 2014

condesplain

A non-sexist way to describe mansplaining: assuming your audience doesn't have the knowledge, experience or intelligence to understand what you are saying without a thoroughly condescending explanation of what you mean. Explaining with condescension is gender-neutral and universal.

While telling me about how cool the video was for "This is America", Arlene condesplained to me that Donald Glover and Childish Gambino are the same person, because obviously I didn't know that since I am in my late 40's and I am scared of the interwebs.

by Amanda Huggandkiss June 12, 2018

Metaphorical Condom

A person that protects you from certain situations.

Person 1:Omg thank you so much for penetrating that group of people for me!

Person 2: No problem best bud.

Person 1:lol i guess you're my metaphorical condom.

by CatnAna June 16, 2010

Hulked a Condom

When a man is too big for a condom that he goes all Bruce Banner and busts out of it HULK Style.

I just Hulked a condom for the second time tonight!

I should get Magnum XL's cause I just keep Hulking condoms!

by KornyKev March 8, 2011