Calculus

The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"

Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*

by Tintintinny whatever February 24, 2011

ap calculus

Class offered in some high schools. Introduces pretty basic mathematical concepts compared to "advanced" math. Frequently described as "impossible," "retarded," and "useless" by many students, but occasionally enjoyed by uber-nerds who later go on to become obscenely rich and hire the aforementioned students as manservants.

Joe Cool: "AP Calculus sucks monkey balls. Let's go get wasted."

Uber-nerd: "Wow, partial differential equations are fascinating. With some minor modifications, I bet these formulas could even predict the stock market..."

by The Dawg June 14, 2005

Calculator

Cheating device for those to lazy to work out 2+2.

Idiot 1: Dude, what's 2+2?

Idiot 2: Dunno. Steal Jane's calculator.

by Tyler Christie February 18, 2009

calcification

A change or hardening of tissue through the impregnation of calcium. The process by which specific corals grow.

Calcification of the coral reef took place over may years. Calcification in my breast tissue showed up on my mammogram.

by popcat November 18, 2013

calcutator

1.The mispelling of calculator that I wrote down once.

2.A calculator made of potatoes.

Jessica: What does that say?!
Jane: It says calculator!
Jessica: No it doesn't stupid! It says "calcutator"!
Jane: ......

by Imissmydog April 29, 2006

Calculus A

A soft version of calculus designed for the use of people with learning disabilities. Given the letter "A" as it is the most essential and basic level of calculus SON.

Calculus A student: whats a derivative?
Calculus 1 student: whats an anti-integral?

by Dietrich Burbulla January 10, 2011

calculator

The reason why we don't need math, especially in high school, when you'd rather be snogging.

Tim: Math is @#$%?&*!!! I hate it! I want to snog!
Tim's dad: This is why there are calculators. Don't forget the rubber, son.

by AdrienneS June 21, 2006