Skip to main content

Urkle jerk

The act of skeeting on Someones valuables. Then, upon their discovery of the soiled product say "did I do that?"
Dustin: I put on my headphones this morning and got a ear full of skeet. I feel like I have been Urkle jerked

Randal: Did I do that!?
by The Rollin and the tiden March 7, 2011
mugGet the Urkle jerk mug.

Maintenance Jerk

The act of masterbating prior to a social situation so that one does not get overly horny and end up having regretable intercourse.
Example:
1. Joe did a "maintenance jerk" before he went out so he doesnt get
horny and end up having sex with another ugly slut like last weekend.
by mnEBC October 26, 2012
mugGet the Maintenance Jerk mug.

stealth jerk

To stealthily masturbate while people are around.
Guy: Dude, we were eating dinner and I stealth jerked at the table

Friend: Holy shit dude, thats sneaky.

Guy: Yeah, I hit my sister on the leg.
by Wo Shi October 16, 2014
mugGet the stealth jerk mug.

Turnkey Jerk

turn·key jerk
/ˈtərnˌkē/ /jərk/

noun

A person who is just automatically a jerk. Simply turn the key, and you get a jerk. No muss. No fuss. The kind of person you can easily find at George Costanza's "Jerk Store". If the Jerk Store calls, they are probably looking for you - the Turnkey Jerk.
Person 1: "I think Cathy is a real Turnkey Jerk..."
Person 2: "Yea, maybe, but that dude Ryan is even more of a Turnkey Jerk-Face"
by LokiTricks222 August 4, 2017
mugGet the Turnkey Jerk mug.

edward jerk hands

A game where 3 bros have to drink a 40 as fast as possible and the loser has to jerk the other 2 off simultaneously, then whoever cums last has to eat both loads off of a biscuit.
Hey bros wanna play Edward jerk hands tonight?
Sure as long as the biscuit is a chocolate digestive!
mugGet the edward jerk hands mug.

Selective Moral Jerk

Someone who wouldn't steal a pencil from work but chops up anyone who doesn't fit his idea of a moral person. Meanwhile he breaks as many moral conduct rules as the next guy only in his mind those don't matter. Someone who will judge you harshly for a slight indiscretion and will jump to conclusions from incomplete evidence.
Jo Jo - "Man Joe is a dick. He accused me of cheating on an exam because he heard it from Dave who is a chronic liar. Meanwhile Joe is eyeballing Freddie's wife when he's not around."

Terry - " Yeah. Joe is a selective moral jerk. I hope Freddie punches him in the mouth."
by peter gazinya October 4, 2010
mugGet the Selective Moral Jerk mug.

Google Circle Jerk

Self-congratulatory discussions on Google+ where one's reputation as a social media expert is praised by countless wannabes.
Chris Brogan's stream update was quite the Google Circle Jerk last night.
by JDailey July 24, 2011
mugGet the Google Circle Jerk mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email