Someone who utilises tactical strike patterns from offensive military strategy within business practices (i.e. Microsoftian Seige Tactics for Patent suppression), in order to fuck over anyone they can get their hands on.
That Corporate Douchebag just sent that Military Organisation to wipe out village that said no to their factory.
by Theirishbarmaid April 23, 2024
Get the Corporate Douchebag mug.by Howiefeltersnach October 20, 2025
Get the DEADBEAT DOUCHEBAG mug.A two-wheeled traffic hazard wrapped in $400 worth of neon spandex who truly believes public roads are their personal Tour de France training ground. Usually spotted blocking the entire lane, preaching about “sharing the road” while sharing absolutely none of it.
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
by racoo01 October 24, 2025
Get the douchebag cyclist mug.Someone who has a bad take and then makes an excuse of it being either a joke or ragebait based on the audience's reaction.
Anthony: I think Minecraft is overrated.
Trevor: Dude tf you mean. Minecraft is one of the best games ever made
Anthony: I-I was just joking!!/Haha! You just got ragebaited!
Harry: Anthony is such a Schrodinger's douchebag
Trevor: Dude tf you mean. Minecraft is one of the best games ever made
Anthony: I-I was just joking!!/Haha! You just got ragebaited!
Harry: Anthony is such a Schrodinger's douchebag
by appleapple_1 December 21, 2025
Get the Schrodinger's douchebag mug.That one kid who regularly snitches on others, either for their own gain or browny points from the teachers
by appleapple_1 December 21, 2025
Get the Douchebag mug.Someone who says they were spreading misinformation based on if they were actually factually incorrect,
pretending as if they knew they were wrong the whole time.
Sometimes these types of people like to call people who see through the "misinformation" "nerds", as they are too egotistical to admit that they were just being a "dumbass".
pretending as if they knew they were wrong the whole time.
Sometimes these types of people like to call people who see through the "misinformation" "nerds", as they are too egotistical to admit that they were just being a "dumbass".
by not lakepants February 15, 2024
Get the schrodinger’s douchebag mug.by Amburger the McRican March 27, 2024
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