Capitalist tennis

Where two tennis players start on an 'even footing', and the strongest player serves first. Each time the weakest player loses a game, they have to down a double gin & tonic, thus progressively getting weaker.

Maria and Michael played capitalist tennis yesterday, Maria ended up losing and was very drunk by the end!

by RandyRhoads84 June 4, 2024

Capital Gains Tax

CGT is a tax levied on the profit when individuals (except Angela Rayner MP) sell an asset.

That Angela Rayner, I've heard she's a big Maggie Thatcher fan, being particularly impressed with Maggie's 1980 Housing Act, which enabled council house tenants to buy (and sell) their council house. Hang on, I hear Rayner has not only broken electoral law by saying she is registered as living at said council house, but is in fact living down the road with husband and kids. She has also failed to pay capital gains tax on the profit made when she sold the council house.
On well, good on her! Hold on a minute, what's her role in the current Labour government - Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government - NO !!!!! You've got to be pulling my plonker!

by Wasitpolad October 13, 2024

Capitalize on your opportunity

When you have a opportunity to get some capitilize

Boy 1: Man this Sandra's best friend told me that she wants to date me

Boy 2:Capitalize on your opportunity

Boy 1: But I like Sandra

Boy 2:Capitalize on your opportunity

by monkeyboi69 January 23, 2025

Capitaldynamism

Capitaldynamism is a structured framework for a self sustaining mutual preservation and prosperity approach to our Economic woes. It ensures that wealth creation expands continuously rather than becoming concentrated, and that governance evolves to match modern economic realities. This model introduces a self-sustaining cycle of capital reinvestment, financial accessibility, industrial expansion, and adaptive monetary policy.The global economy is undergoing a profound transformation. Automation, AI, and financial market shifts are accelerating corporate profits but not expanding economic participation. Wealth is accumulating at the top while real wages struggle to keep pace with inflation, and governance structures are failing to adapt to economic complexity.

Capitaldynamism: A Framework for Economic Expansion, Wealth Accessibility, and Inclusive Governance.

by ComplicatedChimp February 2, 2025

capish

when someone looks like they lie too much

julio: bro you look capish

by finn jennifer February 3, 2025

Capitalistic Totalitarianism

A system where the totalizing, all-pervasive logic of the market and the profit motive achieves such dominance that it subsumes all aspects of human life—social bonds, personal identity, art, religion, and politics—into its framework. The state may not control every thought, but the market dictates every viable choice, creating a "soft totalitarianism" where freedom is the freedom to choose between branded alternatives, and dissent is marginalized not by secret police, but by unprofitability and social irrelevance.

Example: "Capitalistic totalitarianism is when your town's only public square gets sold to a developer and becomes a 'privately owned public space' where you can be ejected for loitering (not shopping). Your protests against it are organized on a corporate social media platform that algorithmically demotes your event, covered by media outlets owned by the same developer's friends, and the most effective form of dissent they can imagine is a consumer boycott of one of his twelve subsidiaries."

by AbzuInExile February 1, 2026

Capitalistic Orwellianism

The specific use of surveillance, data harvesting, and behavioral manipulation by corporations to engineer consent, predict and control consumer behavior, and eliminate the possibility of private thought outside the marketplace. It's the dystopia where your smart TV watches you to serve ads, your social credit is your credit score, and language is corrupted by marketing speak ("downsizing" becomes "rightsizing," "wage slavery" becomes "hustle culture").

Example: "The true Capitalistic Orwellianism hit when my fridge, noting my low-calorie beer purchases, sent a coupon for gym memberships to my phone, while my health insurance app adjusted my premium for 'positive engagement with wellness.' I was being watched, nudged, and priced by a network of devices, all framing their control as 'personalized service.' Big Brother isn't a tyrant; he's a subscription service with a privacy policy you agreed to."

by AbzuInExile February 1, 2026