Benjamin Evelyn Waters:
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
“Here lies Benjamin Evelyn Waters amidst a field of roses.
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”
by Lather Me With Butter September 20, 2022
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Examples of Recordable Events include but are not limited to leaving reviews, clicking on business listings, and calling a business from google maps
by lorrinski October 5, 2022
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Noun: What a musician posts on their social media when they have a night off, so as to appear more successful than they actually are.
see also: Corporate 6-9, Private Party 5-7, Wedding 4-11, #cantstopwontstop, etc.
see also: Corporate 6-9, Private Party 5-7, Wedding 4-11, #cantstopwontstop, etc.
Here’s my schedule this week! Where will I see you?
Sunday: Bleeding Farts Worship Service 7am & 9am; Monday; Private Event 7pm-11pm
Sunday: Bleeding Farts Worship Service 7am & 9am; Monday; Private Event 7pm-11pm
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Get the eki eveland mug.It's a canon event, like how Johnny ate that bagel. It had to happen. Or else the space time continuum will be disturbed.
"Jake why'd you eat the whole box of cereal? that thing was completely full!"
"Nah bro it was a canon event."
"Nah bro it was a canon event."
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Gorbachev: Who are you and how did you get in here *In Russian*
Miguel O’hara: Mr.Gorbachev, you must tear down that wall, it’s a canon event
Gorbachev: Are you the Capitalist Spider hero or are you Ronald Reagan *In Russian*
Miguel O’hara: It doesn’t matter, tearing down that wall will lead to the collapse of the USSR, which is a Canon Event
Miguel O’hara: Mr.Gorbachev, you must tear down that wall, it’s a canon event
Gorbachev: Are you the Capitalist Spider hero or are you Ronald Reagan *In Russian*
Miguel O’hara: It doesn’t matter, tearing down that wall will lead to the collapse of the USSR, which is a Canon Event
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