Friction-less Wipe

When you wipe your ass, and the paper glides friction-less, so you know you're fucked.

John: Bro, you used all the toilet paper!
Doe: Yeah man, it was a friction-less wipe.

by Findrunemfwatertower March 31, 2025

Redneck Wet Wipe

When you're on the toilet taking a mean shit and you realize you have to blow your nose, so you grab some toilet paper to do so, then wipe your asshole with the now-wet and snotty toilet paper, thereby cleaning your asshole more effectively than just regular shit tickets. The best part is, unlike regular wet wipes, you can flush it without fucking up your septic tank or local sewage system.

Wife: "Honey, do we have any wet wipes? I've got the never-ending wipe happening here."
Husband: "Just blow you nose into some toilet paper!"
W: "Huh?"
H: "You know, like a Redneck Wet Wipe!"
W: "Gross, babe."
H: "Is it really any more gross than what just came out of your asshole?"
W: "Fair point." *honk*

by Crap-tain April 20, 2025

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<.7.9.7.6.>somebody Get a Towel Wipe Them<.7.9.7.6.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 16, 2025

Viet Kong Wipe

After a poop no matter how much wiping you do you can’t clear everything out. You know there’s more in the tunnel but you’re never able to reach it all.

I have some major itching going on this morning after a battle with a nasty Viet Kong Wipe.

by HouseFace May 23, 2025

San Francisco wet wipe

When you take a messy shit but don’t have any wet wipes. So you jerk off into the toilet paper and wipe your ass

That shit was so messy I had to use a San Francisco wet wipe

by Damon184 June 11, 2025

Wipe one

to masturbate (typically in a quick manor, as to save time)

“Hold up mate, I gotta wipe one out first!”
“She’s fugly, rather wipe one then root her”

by Dead step sister April 7, 2024

Wipe Wednesday

Wipe Wednesday is when you only wipe your ass on Wednesday's because it is when you get pegged by your girlfriend, commonly referred to as such due to the correlation of wednesday being called “humpday” and the humping motion used to peg

I’m so excited to get pegged this wipe wednesday

by rn30 April 20, 2024