urkel glasses

Glasses defined as having at a minimum 1" thick glass, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyeglass cord made from leftover weave

Eyeglasses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as "Urkel Glasses" as they will not reflect any semen back at the original shooter

"Urkel Glasses" were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with semen. Many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

To date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by "Urkel Glasses"

Jim - "Let me know when you're gonna blow your load"
Lou - "...OK...here I come"
Jim - "WAIT, I need my Urkel Glasses!!!!"
Lou - "There's no time for that!"
Jim - "OWWW MY EYES!!!"
Lou - "Oh well, guess you should have put on your Urkel Glasses"

by Captain Cosby Sweater March 7, 2014

pressing glass

Being the first in line to wait for a gondola to open on a ski day; being pressed upon the glass gondola doors.

The forecast is predicting 16 fresh new inches of snow for tomorrow, I will definitely be pressing glass!

by Kahliki76 March 15, 2015

mr glass

An athlete that gets injured very often and easily

Hey mr glass broke his leg agian

by the best of all of them in my November 29, 2015

fast glasses

When the glasses make you feel like you are always at a high speed.

“Bro these are some fast glasses!”
“What do you mean fast?”
“Like I’m moving at unpaceable rate.”

by Datboichargin March 22, 2019

Touch glass and smoke gas

The equivalent of a "toast" or a "cheers", however, it is primarily used in terms of smoking weed. More specifically, when the two participants touch bongs prior to taking a hit.

Yo, let's touch glass and smoke gas man.

by DoxSloppy February 15, 2023

Liberal Glasses

In the 2020s, the type of eyewear that contributes to the overall appearance of the white liberal stereotype.

These glasses are bold, thick, geometric, and sometimes multicolor. If a single color, they are either black, dark brown, or a primary color. On may examples, the frames will be a different color than the nose and ear pieces.

Some of the best examples are worn by the following:
Kate Brown, Gigi Sohn, Colbert, Oprah, Rosa DeLauro, Rachel Maddow, Tina Kotek, etc., with Kate Brown's pair being the ultimate archetype.

This type of eyewear is usually seen combined with one or more of the following: A Patagonia puffy jacket, scarf/shawl, tote bag, insulated beverage container, Prius, Tesla, or Outback.

Gigi Sohn's liberal glasses sported during her FCC hearings at the capitol really made her look like a Dr. Seuss character.

by J--tizzle March 7, 2023

milk some glass

To smoke high grade marijuana through a glass pipe

He lets hook up and milk some glass sometime.

by Gabo de la Ch0ng0 May 1, 2009