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Glasses defined as having at a minimum 1" thick glass, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyeglass cord made from leftover weave

Eyeglasses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as "Urkel Glasses" as they will not reflect any semen back at the original shooter

"Urkel Glasses" were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with semen. Many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

To date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by "Urkel Glasses"
Jim - "Let me know when you're gonna blow your load"
Lou - "...OK...here I come"
Jim - "WAIT, I need my Urkel Glasses!!!!"
Lou - "There's no time for that!"
Jim - "OWWW MY EYES!!!"
Lou - "Oh well, guess you should have put on your Urkel Glasses"
by Captain Cosby Sweater February 27, 2014
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