by am138 September 11, 2009
Get the Jesus cakemug. by Oh yeah yeah Zorrorz is great March 9, 2019
Get the cat jesusmug. by malikimustard July 13, 2007
Get the lunchroom jesusmug. by danny langston September 21, 2007
Get the hobo jesusmug. When an event or person is so godly or amazing that the only way it could be possible is if they are Jesus himself.
Dude that guy over there has picked up every girl all night..........without even talking to them!!!!!!??!!!!
-Jesus himself-
My friend robbed the biggest bank in the world using only a ballpoint pen!!!!
-Jesus himself-
-Jesus himself-
My friend robbed the biggest bank in the world using only a ballpoint pen!!!!
-Jesus himself-
by Zygorff October 20, 2009
Get the Jesus himselfmug. A time when it is so early that Jesus Christ would not be fully rested after sleeping.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early
I had to get up Jesus Early for work the other day. I mean, I fell asleep and didn't even awake when my face landed in the deep frier. Someone had to pull me out.
by not_michael October 11, 2004
Get the Jesus Earlymug. A person raised by bible thumping religious fanatics who is incapable of creating a complete sentence without using the words "jesus", "god", "sinner", "salvation," or "amen."
An unbalanced individual who speaks of jesus in such an intimate manner that it becomes uncomfortable to the point you want to vomit then they show you thier jesus tattoo.
A coworker who feels he is ordained by god to leave religious material in the bathrooms, lunchroom, the bulletin boards and your desk.
The cute girl at work that you at one time you briefly considered joining her church in hopes of banging her but decided it would be too wierd to hear her screaming for jesus while you do her. Whose desk looks like an altar and ends every sentence with the phrase "jesus loves you!"
The creepy neighbor who waits for you too come home every day so they can tell you they spent the day praying for your salvation and that your girlfriend is a wanton slut who sleeps in satan's bed.
An unbalanced individual who speaks of jesus in such an intimate manner that it becomes uncomfortable to the point you want to vomit then they show you thier jesus tattoo.
A coworker who feels he is ordained by god to leave religious material in the bathrooms, lunchroom, the bulletin boards and your desk.
The cute girl at work that you at one time you briefly considered joining her church in hopes of banging her but decided it would be too wierd to hear her screaming for jesus while you do her. Whose desk looks like an altar and ends every sentence with the phrase "jesus loves you!"
The creepy neighbor who waits for you too come home every day so they can tell you they spent the day praying for your salvation and that your girlfriend is a wanton slut who sleeps in satan's bed.
Office worker 1: "Who put all the religious crap all over the bathroom?"
Office worker 2: "That's Justin's doing, the creepy guy from the mail room with the jesus tattoo."
Office worker 1: "I should kick his ass!"
Office worker 2: "It would not do any good, he would just ask god to forgive you, he's a jesus retard."
Office worker 2: "That's Justin's doing, the creepy guy from the mail room with the jesus tattoo."
Office worker 1: "I should kick his ass!"
Office worker 2: "It would not do any good, he would just ask god to forgive you, he's a jesus retard."
by jsd9632 October 20, 2012
Get the jesus retardmug.