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Jesus Fucking Christ

When the church or a person are actually fucking themselves over.
Jesus fucking Christ, it's like he's fucking himself in the ass while sucking his own dick!
by kariusvega May 28, 2018
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it's all jesus

A phrase denoting that everything is all right or okay. Can be used to replace 'it's cool' or 'sweet' or 'everything is hunky-dory'.
Bob has to suck dick while he's in prison, but so far there's been no anal rape. So, really, it's all Jesus.
by Mike July 31, 2003
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"SLAP BOXIN JESUS"

When you are so drunk you start swinging at anybody in sight
"If i drink anymore of this Remy Martin i'll be "SLAP BOXIN JESUS"
by SUSPIRIA May 9, 2006
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Jesus Penis

When any male has a tattoo of Jesus inscribed upon their penis in any location.

Done so that during penetration, the man can say to the woman. "Can you feel that? You have Jesus inside you."
Woman: "Oh, Jim! That feels fantastic!"
Jim: "I knew getting a Jesus Penis was a great idea. Doesn't sex always feel better when you've got Jesus inside you?"
Woman: "DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!"
by RaptorJesus666 December 5, 2009
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Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Worker kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
where the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"
by luser November 21, 2002
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Jesus Desade

An Internet fiend, who trawls the web for the foulest, most disturbing and unsettling material it can provide. Should be approached with caution. Has the sexual appetite of a thousand men. A thousand debauched men.
Jesus Desade parked his bicycle in another man's orifice.
Jesus Desade will fuck you up!
by Disciple of Desade August 21, 2006
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jesus walk

a long journey that can only be done by walking
bloke1: "sup man I had to do a jesus walk from seven sisters to ponders end"

bloke2: "raaah thats a propa jesus walk"
by slim keeno July 16, 2005
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