captain calculate

1: A mythical figure whom possesses math skills of a much higher level than that of an average mortal man. (Believed by some to have the ability to solve complex quadratic equations with minimal expenditure of time and/or physical exertion.)

2: One whom has the ability to go medieval on that seemingly unsolvable and obscure "The train left the station" problem's ass.

"Im no captain calculate, but 31 divided by 2 doesn't exactly perplex me."

by The Math Merlin January 11, 2008

talking to the captain

felating a woman's clitoris. Term derived from the slang for a womans clitoris 'The man in a boat'.

'Right then Barry' declared sharon 'first things first, I want to see you talking to the captain before you stick that cock up me - its not all about you!!'

by chesterpest January 22, 2010

Captain Capri

A trash ass guy. He’s lame af and can’t play rainbow 6. Has a bomb ass wifey though. Don’t know how this guy has friends.

Omg this trash ass player named Captain Capri needs to be off the team!

by Videogame girl 420 May 28, 2020

Captain Todd

Aye aye captain.

Guy#1: who's that dude over there?
Guy#2: Oh him? Yeah, he's Captain Todd. Haven't you heard about him?

by ChrisPierreBacon November 24, 2018

Captain Band

Obviously, the captain of the band.

Also, the only 'member of a group of musical misfits who can 'actually' play an instrument.

See also musician,ross saunders

"Hey, Captain Band, man, you're soooo good (lookin')!"

by Captain Band December 13, 2003

Captain Universe

A caped crusader known for various tactics of defeating crime, including riding on top of cars (also known as Urban Surfing), and kerb-crawling next to suspicious cyclists. Driving at low speed, the Captain reaches out of his car and produces a playmobil telephone to offer to the cyclist, claiming "It's for you-hooooo!"
If said cyclist answers the phone, or rejects it, the captain will identify their criminality, and speed off into the distance, singing "Caaaaaaaaptain Uuuuuuuuniiiiveeeeeeeeeerssssseee!!!"

This term can be used as a noun to describe the superhero, or as a verb to describe his actions of crime-fighting.

Did you see Captain Universe on Oxford Hight Street last night? He was mental! He nearly Captain Universe'd three cyclists in one go!

by Monty S-B November 26, 2010

Backwards Captain

When engaging in intercourse in the doggie position and just before the man climaxes, he pulls out, grabs the nearby bottle of captain Morgan, & spritzes it on his/her lower back. When the partner turns around to comment/complain, the man ejaculates directly into his/her face. Then he takes a bottle shot of the Captain and then proceeds to hit his partner in the face with said bottle.

Joshua: I gave Sheila the backwards captain last week. I haven't heard from her since.

by baconlynn August 22, 2016