a turd so long and unbroken when dispatched that it refuses to leave the bowl, even after several flushes.
'Dad!' cried little Jimmy, 'We've got a cumberlodge'. 'Don't worry son, i'll get my walking stick and we'll break it up a bit first'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
When you're so desperate for a dump that you struggle to keep it in before reaching the sanctuary of a toilet. Also known as 'Touching cloth', 'pulling tongues', 'turtles head', 'getting a black eye', 'squeezing and 8 ball' etc...
'Can you hurry up in there mate, trap one has shit on the seat and i've got a monkeys toe out here?'
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
"Oh surprise, surprise, Terry has fucking donned 'Frodo's Ring' again just when it's his turn to get the next round in."
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
An extermely attractive woman who, as soon as she opens her mouth, has a strong and unattractive gutteral, regional accent.
'I couldn't believe my eyes, so immediately rushed over to get in there before the competition only to discover that she was an scouse 'earplugger' and I couldn't understand a fucking word she uttered.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Alternative name for Stella Artois premium strength lager. Also known as wife beater. Refers to the after effects suffered from a night on the lash.
The morning after his 'liquid kosh' fueled binge Dave lost all feeling in his legs and went blind in one eye - 'Result' he declared.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
A smutty round robin email (usually slideshows of womens genitalia made to look like kebabs or turkeys), which successfully evade the attentions of the office IT police.
Geoffs latest scudmail was a powerpoint slideshow of really drunk tramps who had apparently shit themselves - it went down a storm in with the accounts boys.
by chesterpest January 19, 2010
Simon had clearly been constipated for some time, this much was evident upon examination of his recently laid 'chipolinks'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010