Goody Two-Shoes

A person who always does the "right thing", never does anything that they're "not supposed to do" and acts "perfect" in every single way possible. Usually a very peppy/happy person who is a "go getter". Also usually a girl. These people can be very annoying because of these traits.

Omg, that girl is such a goody two-shoes. I hate the way she acts like the teachers pet.

by I-Dunno October 4, 2010

two-flusher

a piece of log so humungous and/or rigid that, after the deed, the defecator would need to flush the toilet twice to completely banish the sucker. Sometimes it requires the assistance of the defecator to break the shat up manuel with near-by objects, e.g. toilet brush, scissors, toothbrush (of one's partner), etc.

*flush*
dang, still here?
*flush*
later, sucker

"I had a two-flusher this morning mom!"
"That's what you get for not eating your vegetables love"

by jajambo February 5, 2004

Two Ton Paperweight

a 4000 pound piece of shit car referenced on Psychostick's cd "We Couldn't Think of a Title"

My Two Ton Paperweight always dies.

by Chris Matlock September 21, 2007

Killed Two Birds With One Apple

Similar to the phrase "kill two birds with one stone" this term means to complete two discrete tasks with a single action. The term traces its origins to a practice, originally made popular by aspiring major league baseball players on the Gulf coast of Florida, of hurling apples at the apparently limitless number of pesky seagulls.

As Mariah's girlfriend walked in on him banging her mother, Mariah thought to himself, "I've just killed two birds with one apple"; I've both fulfilled my MILF fantasy and ended this shitty relationship.

by MGDRehab March 11, 2011

Granny Two Shoes

An outspoken often times rude grandmother. Usually with grey / white hair which is cut very short like a man's. Their facial appearence is often ugly refered to as a, "mug". Usually their marriages are still intact over many years, however there is no, "love" instead there is hatred and contempt for their partner. They often demand people serve them like royalty and often times carry grudges over their entire lifetime. They often make impulsive and irrational decisions based on emotion and distorted facts. There is a high concentration of these types in southwest Florida.

The granny two shoes next door drove over and destroyed my mail box with her cadillac! When I asked what happened she said it was my fault! Granny two shoes also said, "....my jerk husband is still alive damnit!"

by Papertowel9999 April 25, 2011

two hairs past freckle

a reply from someone who doesn't have a watch, usually said after someone asks what time it is.

1: Hey, what time is it?

2: (looks at their watchless wrist) It's two hairs past freckle.

by mjaggard July 19, 2011

Two Day Rule

The method of swooning the female into submission by implementing a mobile communication routine that allows conversation to become more interesting by only conversing bi-daily, thus completing the task above.

"Hey, Glen, did you text that girl tonight?"

"Nah, bro, I'm using the two day rule. That way, we have a full day's worth of shit to talk about."

"Nice man, you'll be diving in that shit in a week!"

by EagerBeaver137 October 28, 2014