turtle neck sweater 

when you are going down on a chick and she has a turtle head that pokes you in the neck, and you start to sweat because you are afraid of being shit on

The man was not expecting to wear a turtle neck sweater that evening.

turtle neck sweater by peter palmer February 11, 2006

turtle-ist 

One who turtles proffessionally, similar to a rapist but around the back

The Manchester turtle-ist strikes again!

turtle-ist by Luke May 27, 2006

turtle smashing

the act of smashing turtles

oi we should so go turtle smashing

turtle smashing by posidon9989998 August 27, 2009

Turtle Status 

when you are waiting on someone to deliver something or drop something off and they are taking for ever to show up or call back.

when murph says he will be over in 10 minutes to give you the money he owes you and still hasn't called and hour later. fucking TURTLE STATUS.

Turtle Status by 321firefunk January 9, 2010

turtle sex 

to masturbate with a turtle object

Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.

Kristen: Where's Mert?
Lafundah: Oh he'll be late, he's having turtle sex again....

turtle sex by keggerthebegger January 15, 2008

turtle tail 

Having to take a dump so badly that the turd is starting to wiggle its way out of the gate. Incorrectly defined on urbandictionary.com as turtle head, "turtle tail" is a much better descriptor for a tapered turd that has quietly poked its way out of your posterior.

Dude, can you pull over at that gas station? I've got a turtle tail.

turtle tail by mig May 7, 2005

turtle's itching the cotton 

When you have to shit so bad it is poking out into your underwear

Uh oh, I better hurry to the toilet, the turtle is itching the cotton!

turtle's itching the cotton by chunk a and ba dunka dunk February 23, 2005