Condom Conundrum

When you know that shit doesn’t feel the same with one, but you’ve slipped one past the goalie in the past and you can’t tell her the last time you got your shit tested so she’s super gay about it and makes you wear a condom.

"When was the last time you got tested?"
"No clue."
"And you're already a dad?"
"Yes."
"Looks like we go a condom conundrum on our hands here."

by Old Bae December 3, 2017

Condom

What your dad forgot to wear.

Emma: you wore the condom... right?
Chad: oh...oh no... OH FUCK

and that how you were made

by poop master on god December 10, 2021

dirty sock condom

A dirty sock condom is the condom that has been in the bottom of your sock drawer since your dad gave it to you during your freshman year of high school.

"Sorry I used a dirty sock condom last night. It was all I had."

by Freddie Mercy March 1, 2014

Condom

A Type Of Rubber To Use When HavingSex To Protect Yourself

Girl:Did You Get The Condom For Tonight?
Boy:Yeah I Got It For Protection.

by CHEESECAKE 13 May 30, 2018

Condom Turtle

A visible erection through the condom.

I leaned over, in an attempt to hide my condom turtle.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

Digital Condom

An Adblocker. Usually referred to when a site has malicious advertisements, as if to protect from Digital STDs.

"Check out this kinky-as-fuck porn site, though!"
"Dude, that site has a bunch of bad advertisements on there."
"Good thing I wear my digital condom, then."

by 8res August 19, 2018

Condom breaker

A really bratty child who is so awful they could not have been voluntarily conceived

The condom breakers stole our wood

*witnesses bratty behaviour in public * Woah that’s a condom breaker

by Steeeeve2 February 5, 2024