Wank-Stains

Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.

Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.

Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.

Mom: You sound like your father.

by Eaton Holgoode January 5, 2018

Commando wank

Quick and intense self gratification, usually performed spontaneously anywhere, outside or at work. Once aroused by erotic stimuli ie. co worker, billboard model or you just have too...

Arthur became aroused watching the laundry go round, a commando wank was the only answer.

by jazrowjo August 3, 2009

Air-wank

The gesture of masturbating in the air, invariably male in orientation, and usually expressing a lack of impression or excitement. Often shown with asterisks bracketing indicating action, like so:

*air-wank*

Not to be confused with *air-rub*.

A: I'll bet you five bucks you can't get a date with that fat chick over there.

B: *air-wank* Are you kidding me? I've got a whole cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the car when the truffles in my pocket run out.

by Mr. Scumbag to you February 18, 2010

Pranking and wanking

An english phrase
When you prank call some-one who you have a crush on and you prank them for a week+ and when after you prank them you wank(masterbate) over them

Johnny was pranking and wanking over Sarah

"Hey Dave i keep getting pranked"
"Yeah its probably Eddie pranking and wanking

by Superjordz August 20, 2007

Force Wanking

Using the 'Force' to elicit free goods fom a person or persons/business or otherwise. The duplicit nature will often invoke an orgasm of the mind.

Bernard just got that squid for free! Colin Kemp: Its not a squid its powdered, but yeah it was free i force-wanked him.
How the bollocks did you do that? Force Wanking Doh!!...

by councilor colin kemp January 19, 2012

Wank and Dank

Jerking off and smoking high quality weed

Tyrone:What have you been doing lately?
John:I’ve just been doing the wank and dank

by Slasher1508. January 14, 2021

wank coma

A state of complete exhaustion experienced by the male after a prolonged session of masturbation such as the one a person might indulge in after his internet connection is restored.

-He was found in is flat in a pool of his own spunk in a wank coma.

The emergency services donned their all over body condoms and gave him urgently needed medical attention.

by Skinner413 October 11, 2013