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help a turtle cross the road 

Finally going to take a shit after turtling the poo. The act of defecating. To expel feces from ones body.
Wow I'm glad i was able to help a turtle cross the road. taking a poop I just helped the biggest turtle cross the road I feel so much better.

awkward turtle 

A motion performed by stacking one's hands on top of one another, extending the thumbs and rotating the thumbs slowly. Performed after a friend has said/done something awkward, either to ease the tension or further humiliate the friend.
"Dog, today carver asked laura to the dance, and she turned him down in front of like 50 people."
"What'd you do?"
"We had to bust out the awkward turtle"

turtleboss

1. Nickname given to one who is a master of the penis...ie a homo
2. Bad ass Contra III stage boss who got his shit ruined
Damn, my roomate Sherman is such a turtleboss, the other day i walked in on him sucking some guy off, how shitty.
turtleboss by Howard Mallory October 5, 2003

turtleitis

When your penis has major shrinkage, due to cold water, weather or anything else cold.
Brrr! got a wicked case of turtleitis, this pool is too cold!
turtleitis by aries:) March 5, 2010

turtlenecker 

A turtlenecker is an individual who purposefully looks at another's genitals in a public restroom.
Stop looking at my dick, you dirty old turtlenecker!
turtlenecker by KungFooBar November 13, 2011

Turtle Swag 

The actions that lead up to a awkward moment. Normal swags awkward counterpart.
Logan: I love you Hannah.
Hannah: *spits milk all over Logan in shock*
Hannah's friend: Way to rock that Turtle Swag
Turtle Swag by awkwardcool May 9, 2012