Turtle Shock

When you fuck your girl turtle style and she can't walk for 24 Hours

I gave my girl turtle shock

by LAGOUT July 20, 2019

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

Turtle dogging

The same concept as prarie dogging and having a turtle head poking out, just combined into one phrase. A chance to drop both bombs at once.

'For breakfast I ate a kale salad, a bag of baby carrots, a can of beets and a ginger apple smoothie. I just drank a strong coffee, took a bump of coke and a drag of a cigarette and now I'm turtle dogging the most epic schwoop poop ever.'

by Bubblegumblue January 3, 2020

Turtle Nugget

A tasty snack for anyone in the mood to eat something expensive

Hey guys I'm bored so I'm going out to get some turtle nuggets!

by TurtleNugget912 January 30, 2020

turtle blaster

The act of an individual stuffing green and black jellybeans up their arse, followed by squatting down and pushing them out. The action resembles Turtles being blasted out of their bum.

-“Yo bro, I saw Alex the other day doing a Turtle Blaster..“
-“No way, with the green and black jellybeans?”
-“Yea”

by JellyBeanBlasterAlex April 13, 2020

Turtle

Slang for a girl who’s an easy lay.

She’s a bit of a turtle. Get her on her back and she’s fucked.

by JimmyRK November 26, 2020

Turtle kid

A turtle kid is a kid who is super chill but has a crackhead sense of humor and has a bad obsession with their turtle and probably something else. Overall, a good friend to have, just don't get them on the topic of turtles or they'll never shut the hell up.

Person one: hey did you see Jerry over there, does he always stare at his turtle lovingly like that?
Person two: Yeah, Jerry is such a turtle kid

by mizukei November 27, 2020