Porn Jesus

A term used to define a well hung dark-haired male with a beard and long hair.

Damn, have you seen that porn Jesus over there? He's hot!!

by Ruby-Slippers July 25, 2016

jesus wafer

The thin, brittle slice of "bread" that passes for the body of Christ during communion. It is, of course, washed down with a swig of Jesus juice.

Gregg: Why are you awake now? You were hammered last night.
Doug: Dude, I'm getting dragged to church.
Gregg: Oh, lame.
Doug: It's cool. I can space out until they serve the jesus wafers. They always help my hangover.

by Doug E Fresh Barcelona November 22, 2009

Jesus of Suburbia

The son of rage and love

Billie Joe Armstrong: I’m the son of rage band love. The Jesus of Suburbia. The bible of none of the above on a steady diet of Soda Pop and Ritalin. No one ever died for my sins in hell as far as I can tell. At least the ones that I got away with.

by Dray’s Dictionary September 24, 2020

jesus gun

jesus gun

jesus gun
1 jee-zuhs, -zuhz guhn noun, verb, gunned, gun·ning.
noun
1.
a weapon consisting of a metal tube, with mechanical attachments, from which projectiles are shot by the force of an explosive so powerful that it could kill any religious icon or god(s).
2.
a long-barreled cannon having a relatively flat trajectory and deity killing capability.

Damn that mtz, he pieced out our entire squad with that big bad jesus gun......again.

by mtz81 September 7, 2011

Jesus Shit

When you take a shit that is wet enough that it easily slides out your ass but hard enough that it leaves no residue, so the person doesn't have to wipe their ass.

"Jesus shits are hard to get" said James.

by me1342 July 11, 2006

straight for Jesus

A very Christian man that has chosen to ignore his natural instincts and try to make a life with a female because of his belief that homosexuality is wrong.

Scott is straight for Jesus. He clearly is gay and checks me out all the time.

by Christopher J. Smith September 1, 2007

slim jesus

eminem's retarded little brother; skittles.

how to be slim jesus
>be white
>watch Straight out of Compton
>capture mexican kid
>make drill rap

by lolitsalex December 27, 2015