jesus tanning

Turning one's forearms over during tanning or extended time in the sunlight, in order to better tan the pale backs of one's forearms. This technique was created to also help prevent sunburn on one's forearms. The performer takes on a pose similar to that of Jesus on the cross.

Observer: "Why are you holding your arms like that?"

Performer: "I'm Jesus tanning! Burnt forearms are the devil's work!"

by Robert Chives July 28, 2014

jesus gun

jesus gun

jesus gun
1 jee-zuhs, -zuhz guhn noun, verb, gunned, gun·ning.
noun
1.
a weapon consisting of a metal tube, with mechanical attachments, from which projectiles are shot by the force of an explosive so powerful that it could kill any religious icon or god(s).
2.
a long-barreled cannon having a relatively flat trajectory and deity killing capability.

Damn that mtz, he pieced out our entire squad with that big bad jesus gun......again.

by mtz81 September 7, 2011

Pure Jesus

When something is extremly awesome.(Picture it as a can of some liquid.)

Tom: How was that concert last night? Did it rock?
Nick: Man, It was Pure Jesus!!

by Jack Of Hearts!! April 1, 2009

Jesus Couple

When a couple is so perfect together , They're named a 'Jesus Couple'. Only rare special , good looking couples are allowed to be named a Jesus Couple. Those who are a Jesus Couple are to be respected since they're too perfect.

Lauren : Omfg , Angelina & Brad are a total Jesus Couple !
Zaida : Totally ! They're perfect together !
Lauren : I wish I was in a Jesus Couple !

by Victoria Vasquez January 16, 2013

Jesus Shit

When you take a shit that is wet enough that it easily slides out your ass but hard enough that it leaves no residue, so the person doesn't have to wipe their ass.

"Jesus shits are hard to get" said James.

by me1342 July 11, 2006

straight for Jesus

A very Christian man that has chosen to ignore his natural instincts and try to make a life with a female because of his belief that homosexuality is wrong.

Scott is straight for Jesus. He clearly is gay and checks me out all the time.

by Christopher J. Smith September 1, 2007

slim jesus

eminem's retarded little brother; skittles.

how to be slim jesus
>be white
>watch Straight out of Compton
>capture mexican kid
>make drill rap

by lolitsalex December 27, 2015