I speak keyboard...

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm
mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq
qazwxedcrfvtgbyhnujmikolp
plokmijnuhbygvtfcrdxeszwaq
qzwxecrvtbynumiopasdfghjkl
qazxswedcvfrtgbnhyujmkiolp
azertyuiopqsdfghjklmwxcvbn
qwertzuiopasdfghjklyxcvbnm
~!@#$%^&*()_+QWERTYUIOP{}|ASDFGHJKL:"ZXCVBNM<>?
?><MNBVCXZ":LKJHGFDSA|}{POIUYTREWQ+_)(*&^%$#@!~
qawsedrftgyhujikolpzxcvbnm
zaxscdvfbgnhmjklqwertyuiop
qsefthukoawdrgyjilzxcvbnm
qaswedfrtghyjukilop
azsxcdvfbgnhmjkl

i speak keyboard...

by  September 21, 2022

Cop speak

A subset of bafflegab intended both to lend glory to mundane events and to obfuscate unethical or violent actions. Examples might include “the alleged perpetrator proceeded in a northerly direction via vehicle” for “he drove north”, “sworn members” for “cops”, and “arrested after a brief use-of-force encounter” for “we beat him up”.

The press conference after the shooting was full of the kind of cop speak you’d expect from Public Affairs.

by CharleneV May 5, 2023

To speak with a customer service representative, press 9

Well, THANK you --- FINALLY! Dat is what I've been waiting to hear for da last three minutes!

Advice to CEOs everywhere: Most of da folks who call your service-center will need to verbally inquire/protest about their matter of business --- i.e., their question or issue is not something dat they can resolve themselves by merely using your automated phone system --- and so why not offer them DAT option FIRST, rather than making them suffer through a whole tedious-and-useless-to-them menu-litany before their exasperated ears eventually hear da welcome words, "To speak with a customer service representative, press 9"?! Why subject their distressed/confused/hurried selves to those other eight "press one for this, press two for this" possibilities which they very seldom could use, anyway?!
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?

by QuacksO May 20, 2023

Ana Sedana

The one and only Ana Sedana, they are always going to get bitches and get on people's good side and will always be spoilt by everyone. they love to fake saying their blonde even though they aren't and have an amazing white Romanian puss

One time, on Twitter, I heard Ana Sedana was pregnant with a white puss. So I got pregnant with a white puss so we could be pregnant at the same time. Turns out it was just a rumor..

by Eliownna July 8, 2023

Perma Speak

Instead of saying that someone is using an open mic, you can say that they Perma Speak.

Is player 1 talking the whole game? - Yeah, they're on Perma Speak ( Thanks Dubsman)

by ayehatechu August 15, 2024

Garrick Speak

A language unique to Garrick based on English but no one else can understand it

He's using Garrick Speak

by PetorCheator February 28, 2024

tree speak

all manners of gibberish spoken by too far gone drug addicts (mostly psychedelic users)

tree: there are some Asian countries that offer tripsitting cuz of some religious stuff so you can safely consume virtually infinite amounts of drug combos you know like DMT+MDMA+LSD for extra good trip to unlock your spiritual power you can virtually become God after that

random onlooker: tree speak

by dropthedrugs March 19, 2024