Skip to main content

urban confessional 

The act of using the Urban Dictionary as a confessional to confess things. These confessions are about various things. Many people do this in Urban Dictionary due to the ability to use a pseudonym as a username. This satisfies the feeling of the need to confess. At the same time it ensures that the confessor remains anonymous due to using the fake names as usernames (not everyone on here uses a fake name as a username, nut the large majority do).

I am on Urban Dictionary doing my own urban confessional. I, Ted Rimmel Jr, promised if Urban Dictionary printed my first definition (Oedifession) I would be entering over 100 (more like over 300) definitions of other words to confess about my Oedipus Complex, to confess about my mother being my girlfriend, to explain it, to prove it, and further support exposing it. So yes, many people on here use the urban confessional.
Sandra: "Ted Rimmel Jr is actually doing as he said. He said if Urban Dictionary posted his definition of Oedifession he would post at least 100 definitions of other words that support proving his Oedipus Complex, him being in love with his mother, and about his mother being his girlfriend. Ted is actually following through on his promise!"

Lance: "I have read some of Ted's previous definitions on Urban Dictionary. Confessing all about that on Urban Dictionary is definitely the way to go. By doing that Ted is definitely using the urban confessional. I will keep reading his definitions in the future."

IHOP Confessional

A sexual act performed in an IHOP bathroom, with 3 people involved. One holds a bottle of syrup aloft over the closed stall door, chanting words of forgiveness and prayer to two people having intercourse on the sink. It is vital for correct performance that the syrup priest, or “Maple Minister”, maintain the seal of confessional by keeping the door closed, unable to see the intwined parties on the sink. During the ritual, it is vital that Minister apply holy oil (syrup) to the confessors, in order to better achieve forgiveness while still maintaining the aforementioned seal of confessional. No line of sight. Confessors must be naked, as sin was devised at the nudity of Adam and Eve in the Garden. The confessors will confess their sins, while being anointed, and absolutely fucking.

(This is the reason no more than 2 people are allowed in an IHOP bathroom at a time.)
*Kneeling Upon Saint Syrup*

Father I have sinned, and don't know what to do.

Nonsense Child. Join me for an IHOP confessional and let your sins speak through you. Strawberry, Blueberry, Old Fashioned, or Butter Pecan?

The Dirty Nun Confessional 

When she dresses up as a dirty nun. Set up two chairs, one on each side of a slightly open door. She confesses all the dirty things she wants done to her. You then proceed to satisfy every confession.
Kelly wanted The Dirty Nun Confessional last night, so after confession I tied her face down to the bed, spanked her bottom red, raw dogged her bottom and then finished on her face. The odd thing was she wanted me dressed as Santa.

Do you hate the band Dashboard Confessional 

Cause it is almost like my other definition wasn’t approved
Do you hate the band Dashboard Confessional

(You know that I am talking to you)

Congressional Calculator 

The Congressional Calculator is much like Obamanomics, it's calculations that don't add up in the real world yet people buy into strictly based on the source of the info. The Congressional Calculator is used anytime things don't quite add up but fits the agenda du jour. It's like adding 2+2 and getting minus 4 billion.
"Great news! Government Healthcare just passed which should decrease the deficit by about 2 Trillion!!" "ah, I love the Congressional Calculator, I'm gonna go buy a new 'vette."

Congressional Medal of Boner 

The highest recognition given to deserving patriots of the sex industry who go beyond the call of booty, usually awarded by lawmakers (hence Congressional).
Mary Jane is awarded the Congressional Medal of Boner for her erotic deeds.