Because you touch yourself at night

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.

Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

by Urban_Fellow June 24, 2006

Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap

A phrase you can inject in a conversation after someone begins to complain or go on about something that you are not interested in.

Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap.

by General America December 19, 2010

because

A word that all parents can't live without. It has no real meaning.

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG OF YOU!!!!!"
"WHY THE HELL NOT?"
Because.

by Chloe September 9, 2003

because reasons

A sarcastic evaluation of someone else's logic

"Jenny knows that scientific studies show that vaccines are perfectly safe, but she still doesn't trust them because reasons."

by BJWise April 20, 2016

you were born from your mother's asshole, because her cunt was too busy being fucked by a dog

perhaps the most offensive and all-encompasing insult ever conceived. either Portugese or Afrikaans in origin.

dude1: go on, say "you were born from your mother's asshole, because her cunt was too busy being fucked by a dog"

dude2: you were born from your mother's assho <dude1 punches 2 in face>

by b4stard November 10, 2005

because fuck you

another way of saying "because I felt like it"
Usually used when describing something that could've been done more practically.

I disconnected the natural gas input from my stove and lit it on fire because fuck you.

I needed to walk five blocks to the library, so I stood on the back of a semi-truck going the same direction because fuck you.

by Herpderpdederp October 27, 2012

You can't fire me because I quit syndrome

The inability to accept the inevitable or obvious after an event has already happened.

Boss: You're fired!
Loser: You can't fire me, because I QUIT!
Boss: I don't know what you're quitting- I already fired you.
Loser: I QUIT, ya hear?! QUIT!!
Boss (to Secretary): Barbara, call security. We've got another case of "You can't fire me because I quit syndrome"

by Sir Andrew May 20, 2007