ask no questions and you'll be told no lies

It is a quote by Charles Dickens that is used to reply to a question with an answer best kept untold.
The quote has been shortened to "ask no questions hear no lies" in modern use by people who do not know the origin of the quote.

Professor: How far along are you with that assignment, Peter?
Peter: Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies, Professor.
Professor: Ah, Charles Dickens. Alright then, we'll just forget about the assignment for now. I will not accept any work given to me after the hand-in date, remember that.

ask no questions and you'll be told no lies by stevie the illiterate March 16, 2017

ask my arse 

Old English for "kiss my ass."

x: What's your E-mail?
X: ASK MY ARSE!

ask my arse by That Bum May 27, 2005

ask jeeves 

The lamest Search Engine Ever. The commercials tell you that typing in a question will give you an answer.

All it is is a search engine, like Google, and Yahho (Except 6000 times worse) and does NOT give you answers, merely search results.

Me: *types in* Where can I find 10 hour long porn movies?

Ask.com: 1st Result A Brief History on movies at the cinema!

Me: Why can't Ask.com implode?

Ask.com: 1st Result 10 HOUR Pr0n DVD'Z 4 DOwnloaDINg LOLZ!!!11

Me: Ah.. I think i'm gonna go use Google now...

ask jeeves by Cloud November 27, 2004

ask hole 

The annoying person in class who asks questions merely to make points with the instructor.

I wish Timmy would stop with the endless inane questions during class. He is such a brown-nosing ask hole!

ask hole by P. Pie July 1, 2007

ask out 

When one person asks another person out on a date. In heterosexual situations, it is usually the man who asks the girl out. When the man and woman have been on enough dates or have gotten to know eachother well enough, the guy will usually ask the girl to be his steady girlfriend. date

So I heard mike is going to ask out tracy.

When I asked that girl out she was totally into it.

ask out by Lilparkczar November 22, 2007

ask your mother

What your father will innevitably say when you beg for something, especially since your mother is the one that will most certainly say no.

Son: Ho, Dad, can I take the car for bit? I'm gonna hang around town with some friends, we need a ride.

Father: Ask your mother.

ask your mother by Kiersten Gall February 18, 2009

Ask.Fm

A newer site that is alike to social networks except it only uses Questions & Answers (Q&A) type of protocol. Where you ask a question and *hope* for an answer. You're welcome to remain Anonymous or you may ask as yourself. This new "social network" site/application is supported on PC, iOS, Android, and Windows. It seems to work best on PC as of 7/3/2013, the phone App. looks very choppy and mediocre.

- - Remain anonymous when asking - -

Anonymous - Have you fucked your family before?
Name - Umm, who are you? NO!

- - Ask as YOU - -

Name - Who is your favorite actor?
Name - Well, that's Robert Downey Jr. =)!

In Person -

Friend - Hey man, did you see her answers on Ask.Fm?
You - No, why?
Friend - You won't believe what she said about you!

Ask.Fm by MR.THUG July 28, 2013