Asphyxifailure

When the sexual art of asphyxia goes embarrassingly wrong. It is possible to have a multitude of asphyifailures if there is a ceiling fan or chandelier involved.

My girl Carmen likes me to tie her to ceiling fans with vintage women's lingerie. Unfortunately, Carmen also likes to eat fried chicken. Her weight on my ceiling resulted in an Asphyxifailure. I now know it is much easier just to stroke my weenis.

by Oliver Klothesof October 6, 2010

Assphemy

A fart that smells so bad, it is unforgivable.

Person 1: (fart)
Person 2: Dude!?
Person 3: Come on man! That was straight up ASSPHEMY!

by Laturna Noes August 30, 2013

Asphyxiate the poultry

Choking the chicken, a.k.a. mastuerbating, beating your meat like it owes you money.

There's a girl in class that's so hot that I have to take a bathroom break and asphyxiate the poultry just so I can stop staring at her and pay attention in class.

by Christobon August 8, 2014

asphy

Someone who lives on discord, speaks in 3rd person and makes funny jokes.

Asphy:Hi my name is Asphy.
Asphy:-p chimp sounds 24h

by Piloischimp September 14, 2020

ashphobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against people named ash.

hey Ash, you suck!

what did I do?

People named Ash are the worst!

That's Ashphobic!

by capibaru November 21, 2022

Testicular Asphyxiation

Suffocating someone to the point of death by means of your own nutsack.

God dammit Brian I’m gonna kill you by testicular asphyxiation. You’re gonna be breathing my nutsack in like a damn grocery bag over your head.

by aphillyp June 21, 2021

autoerotic asphyxia

asphyxia caused by intentionally strangling oneself (or holding there breath) while masturbating in order to intensify the orgasm through reduced oxygen flow to the brain. (can become lightheaded and feel of faint.

my girl was choking my chicken and she thought i was in autoerotic asphyxia and i nearly passed out

by David!!!??? March 21, 2008