spoff balloon

When you realise you have no tissues whilst bashing one out and you don't want to spum your nodes everywhere and make a mess. When you are about to "spend" simply pinch the end of your foreskin and blow up your own spoff balloon. Allow no seepage.

I emptied my Spoff Balloon over your mum. It was all over her boat like a plasterers radio.

by Nob Gnarley September 16, 2017

Sloaf

"The piece left over after taking a slice of bread. Not a whole loaf, but not just a slice."

"Jimmy! Make sure you wrap the sloaf so it doesn't get stale! We can get a few more slices out of it."

by GamesDean January 17, 2018

Spolaf

The ship name between Spider-Man and Olaf the snowman. Or as a made up drug.

I ship Spolaf so much I’m gonna write a fanfic about them.

by Scruggssa August 7, 2018

Spaff mining

Kinky "oh shit" method of birth control. By attempting to remove your load from inside her box after giving her a serious creampie.

I forgot she wasn't on the pill so after I finished I wasn't close to done, still had a lot of spaff mining to do.

by Almighty^Guru October 2, 2019

Spaff Tanks

Slang for testicles

God, just had a mighty wank, my spaff tanks are knackered

by demodays June 7, 2020

Spider Spaffing

When you're decorating and have moved so many spiders throughout your day that you simply can't be arsed any more, so instead you cover the spider with so much paint that it becomes part of the property.

For fuck's sake, they just keep crawling back up; it's time for some spider spaffing.

by Mueece September 7, 2014

Free spaffing

to ejaculate without a designated or suitable semen receptacle.

example, I was going to cum in a sock, there was no sock I was forced to engage in free spaffing everywhere

future, I am going to free spaff everywhere.

present, I am currently free spaffing everywhere

past, I may have free spaffed everywhere

by spaff king October 10, 2014