Boris Johnson defines spaffed as 'the spending of public money on non-recent child abuse investigations'.
“You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing. What on earth is that going to do to protect the public now?”
by This Is Not Rob March 13, 2019
When someone is brutally mauled for no "apparant reason" but it is clear that the person deserved every bruise on their face
Johnny got spaffed last night, I'm going to spaff Johnny, You deserve a good spaffing
by Endeque February 4, 2010
A slang term for ejaculate or cum. To be put in odd places for revenge.
My boss doesn’t like me, I don’t like my boss. I don’t like coffee, my boss does.
Mate, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve spaffed in him coffee maker at work. Brings a smile to my face every time I see him take a sip.
by Boss Hating Prick July 26, 2019
To ejaculate violently; specifically, with wanton and reckless disregard for direction or focus.
Spaf in my face you alsatian-loving scrag wrench.
by Binman_UK December 27, 2006
The sound it makes when a penis slaps against face.
S-slapping
P-penis
A-against
F-face
Will was totaly being gay so he got spaf'd
by Yourleftnut March 21, 2003
1.) The past tense verb formation of “Spaff” aka “To Spaff Something”: which means “To do it well.”

2.) To create utter chaos while snacking.

Originated and used by British Youtube Star Jamie Spafford & fellow members of SORTEDFood.
JAMES: “Aww, I Spaffed it.”
JAMIE: “You’ve done it well.”
by KhaleesiofRivia May 13, 2021