.44 Magnum Retirement Plan

When you fail to save and invest enough money for retirement and grow too old or get sick and can no longer work to earn money to maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to. The .44 Magnum Retire Plan may be an option for you! Just place a loaded, high powered firearm to the side of your head or in your mouth and pull the trigger. All your retirement worries will disappear in an instant!

Clarence: “Hey Lance, how is your retirement portfolio looking?”.
Lance: “It’s strong to quite strong”.
Clarence: “Nice! You must have gotten in early on some wireless I.P.O.’s and made a killing!”.
Lance: “No. Truth be told, I haven’t saved or invested shit towards retirement. I’m 68 now and in failing health. I’m on the .44 Magnum Retirement Plan!”.

by E. Barlow June 22, 2021

hella retired

Phrase used to describe a retired person that is able to do things that only someone with time on their hands does or can do.

Hecka retired is used when more appropriate.

Grandma: I baked your three dozen cookies and some for your friends too, Johnny!
Johnny: Damn, Grandma, you're hella retired!

by Nigga Chris April 7, 2009

retinue

attendants for a person who is high class in society

Emperor Kuzco had lots of retinue

by vegihumor333 August 21, 2003

Retired

A euphemism for retarded, as gosh is a euphemism for God and darn is a euphemism for damn.

"I think she might be retired."

by Skalator June 8, 2009

Retouch

What preppy girls and scene boys do to their facebook pictures to make themselves look more attractive.

Isn't Katie usually a pizzaface?

Yeah, her picture's totally retouched.

by Enigmatical November 10, 2010

rethug

short form of "rethuglican"

Thank God the Democrats kicked the Rethugs out of Congress in 2006.

by MsDeirdre November 11, 2008

Burnt Retina

Also known as a "BR," it is a reference to a female (or male) who is so unattractive that one needs to drink to the point that his (or her) retinas are burnt in order to hook up with said beast.

I was at a party last night when some burnt retina hit on me. After ten tequila shots, my retinas were properly burned enough to tap that giant beast.

by The Fresh Prinz July 10, 2009