Dick Mittens

The condition of one's hands when one neglects to wash them after urinating.

I won't let him touch my copy of New England with dick mittens.

by Frayed_Moe November 9, 2003

kittens mittens

A sarcastic term used to describe someone after an accomplishment.

Jesse: I got a B on my test.

Amanda:I recieved an A!

Jesse: Well, aren't you the kittens mittens.

by Shannnon July 3, 2006

piss-mittens

Interjection. Expression of total feelings of futility, and resignation, at own idiocy.

<upon realising your only pair of boxer shorts has been caught in the aftershave fire set by your drunken housemate> fuckitty-wankitty-PISS-MITTENS!

by Trickenso September 29, 2006

Man Mittens

When you have so much BBQ sauce on your fingers from eating ribs, you have to grab things like your cup with the palms of your hands.

Hey man, these ribs are so good but I have to use my man mittens to pick up my drink!

by monkman180 April 9, 2011

Skin Mittens

When trying to define how fat a girl is by the size of her fingers, because you can't fully see her entire body.
Such as setting in a car, behind a bar, ect.

Her fingers are so fat they look like mittens made of skin.

"Dude check out the chick next to us, she's kinda hot."

"No way bro, look at how big her fingers are, she's probably fat."

"You're right, she looks like she's wearing SKIN MITTENS"

by Cadet '92 November 12, 2011

teeth mittens

When you wake up with such a dry mouth that it feels like you have mittens on your teeth. Occurs when sleeping with your mouth open during a cold or drinking too much.

How was the party?
I got so hammered last night I have a screaming headache and a full set of teeth mittens.

by spirotot May 14, 2014

Russian mittens

Its where you take one fist and put it up her ass and the other fist down her throat and fist bump yourself in her guts

This girl is a freak. . she said give me the russian mittens

by Jon von hugendong May 19, 2018