Crack Mattress

Mattress, preferably dirty, without sheets that a person actually sleeps on, similar to what one might find in a crack house/den

"No clean sheets?!!Well, looks like I'll be riding the crack mattress until laundry day".

by Ooookay December 18, 2008

air mattress

flight attendant - refers to slut potential of jobs which involve travel

"the stewardess has a guy in every city - what an air mattress"

by stendhalismo April 7, 2005

Mattressbating

The delicate act of dry humping your mattress into submission until you cum

Oh, I was mattressbating there like an hour ago, you wanna play some Oreos?

by Wildcardbitch69 December 3, 2010

Mattais

A person of great intelligence, with their own sense of humor.
A person who is always trying to help, but still gets the shit end of the stick.

Jim: "Mattais helped me clean up after the party"
Sadie: "Pshh, he probably made the mess anyway."

by sunbitch November 4, 2011

virgin mattress

1. A brand-new bed, unsoiled by you, whoever might have owned it first, and anyone who may have previously "visited" it.
2. What you need to purchase if your bed is older than you are.

Yeah, I think it's time for a virgin mattress.

by lander88 November 9, 2010

brown mattress

A mattress in the Figueroa residence that breaks your spine and keeps you in pain for weeks.

I slept on the brown mattress last night and my back was sore for weeks!

by someonefromglassboro December 29, 2016

going to the mattresses

to prepare for a protracted fight

From the movie "The Godfather":

CLEMENZA: That Sonny's runnin' wild. He's thinkin'a going to the mattresses already. We gotta find a spot over on the West Side

by slugbait October 22, 2006