my wife took custody of both my kids. she filed a restraining order against me. the judge granted her a restriction order to protect her from further "hArrasSment". now i am not allowed within 100 meters of her and my kids due to the restraining order. lobster.

lobster by iamnotanalchoholic April 7, 2025

Get merch

Lobster pincer

An extremely complicated but yet rewarding chess move, where a player successfully checks the enemy player's king and forces checkmate in the next move. The tactic must have two offensive attackers (i.e a queen and a pawn) that together synergize into a victory. The move is developed by chess grandmaster, Félix "xQc" Lengyel, and is a part of the Bing-Bang-Boom chess philosophy with other strategies such as the wooden shield. It takes years of studying to master this phenomenal move, as not even artificial intelligence computers such AlphaZero or LeelaZero have the ability to find a counter move to the lobster pincer.

3000-rated player: This game is already won, I'm way too much up in material*
5Head: *With material down, plays the lobster pincer*
3000-rated player: *Instantly resigns as there's no possible way to avoid the checkmate*

Lobster pincer by Unknown Panda June 1, 2020

Get merch

lobster harmonica

A harmonica in the shape of a lobster, NOT a harmonica played by lobsters.

"I'm not leavin till I get that lobster harmonica! C'mere, lobsty." - Otto, on the Simpsons episode Pin Pals

lobster harmonica by Astroturd July 31, 2010

Get merch

lobster mornay

Is when your girlfriend is extremely sunburnt and you have no choice but to put out the fire with some mornay sauce. mornay sauce being chicken juice, aka sperm.

aloe vera was not present. so i had to use MY LOBSTER MORNAY SAUCE.

lobster mornay by dj_amez January 17, 2010

Get merch