Shirk and Jerk

To avoid doing work while on the clock whilst taking care of one's needs. Less euphemistically: to jack off at work.

I was feeling really stressed at work today, so I locked my office and closed the blinds for a good ol' shirk and jerk to relieve my tension before the board meeting. Totally killed the presentation!

by daphunkeefeel1 July 8, 2012

Jerkson

The human male wang.

I just don't understand why women are supposedly so critical of jerkson size. All sizes do the same job, so why can't they be satisfied with what they get?? The guy puts it in, thrusts it around a bit for a time, the jerkson eventually sneezes and the woman eventually gets satisfied and VIOLA! Seriously. And, no, I don't know what the women have to say about it from their perspective since I don't talk with any. Should I care??

by antpharm March 6, 2009

jerkstore

1) a fictitious retailer that sells "jerks." 2) a line that one imagines to be the perfect comeback

1) REILLY: The ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.

GEORGE: Oh yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerkstore called. They're running outta you.

REILLY: What's the difference? You're their all-time best
seller!

2)GEORGE: Don't you understand? It's not about him. To have a line as perfect as "jerkstore" and to never use it. I, I couldn't live with myself.

ELAINE: See, there are no jerkstores. It..it's just a little confusing, is all.

GEORGE: It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And, I'm not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!

by Frank Booth June 16, 2006

Jerk and Run

A term used mostly in sexual instant messaging. This is a situation in which a person only sticks around in the conversation until they are sexually satisfied, then leaves immediately after without warning or in the middle of a situation.

"The other person left? He must of been on a jerk and run."

by Fly Fox January 7, 2010

twerk and jerk

When you shake your ass in someone's face while jerking them off.

Guy 1: Yo did you see that chick's butt?
Guy 2: Yea I also heard she gives and nice twerk and jerk.
Guy 1: how do you know?
Guy 2: I was there...

by thisguysuka May 20, 2014

Don't jerk the car

Don't jerk the car is used when you're telling a driver to drive someone over

Mike: Yo don't jerk the car for that guy I hears he's an opp

by OppWitSeriousMembers May 28, 2020

Jerk Nails

A way girls have of telling if guy's are jerks based on how perfect their fingernails are. Revealed to us men by a How I Met Your Mother Episode which also featured crazy eyes on girls.

Now I always cut my fingernails a little badly so girls won't see the jerk nails.

by Barman and Robin November 8, 2009