jab the turtle

The best rapper in the universe

All hail jab the turtle a god amongst men

by Oxford dictionary co March 24, 2017

jab jab

a subtle, verbal poke at someone. Usually to hurt or one-up someone.

Susie shouldn't jab jab Tony by talking about her new boyfriend in front of him.

by MaryGenevieve May 7, 2008

jab shield

Is what you say when someone either within a defined perimeter, or smell-shot radius of you, farts. If you are the farter, you must pass the fart by tapping (or hitting) someone, and then shouting jab shield, which prevents it from being passed back. If someone smells your fart they can shout jabshield before you have decided to even pass it, thereby alerting others to the fart. The objective is to not be the person stuck with the fart.

Bill: {fart}
Bill hits Bob
Bill: Jab shield!
Bob: Doh!
Ben: Jab shield!
Bryan: Jab shield!
Bob hits Bernard
Bob: Jabshield!
Bernard: Dammit!

Bernard is stuck with the fart.

by yoyoyoyourmama July 26, 2006

jab rash

When the man has too quickly skipped through foreplay and tries to jab his erect penis repeated into a dry, very dry vagina; the only thing usually accomplished is a angry irritated vagina. The results of repeated invasion of an improperly lubricated vagina by an impatient erect penis.

One guy says to his buddy, "Hey man, did you score with that hot chick you took home last night?"
His buddy responds, "I think so, when I tried to hit it again this morning, she said she was suffering from "jab rash'."

by herumgirl November 23, 2013

jab my thumb into the eye and follow through

extending the first joke further than it should be, far enough to the point where it becomes irrelevant or unfunny. first scene in jojo's bizarre adventure.

this surgery on a grape meme seems really bad, so i'll jab my thumb into the eye and follow through

by terrobite January 9, 2019

JAB (just a bro)

Used to signify to others that an individual is just a bro. No more, no less.

Dude, is it true you have a thing for Jennifer?
Nah man, she's jab.
Jab? As in she's just a bro?
Took the words right outta my mouth

Hey, do you have a thing for Billy?
Nahhh, hes jab.
Oh, just a bro!

-JAB (just a bro)-

by jfreshh February 15, 2019

Jab the Hog

To wake up in the dead of night, fully torqued, and aggressively masturbate just to fall back asleep.

“Had to jab the hog last night. Wasn’t horny, just medically necessary.”

by GeneKreemer March 24, 2025