The Chav, commonly mistaken for a human being.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.
There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.
The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.
Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.
Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!
Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.
All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.
There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.
The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.
Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.
Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!
Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.
All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
by Artix May 31, 2008
CHAV = Counsil House Associated Vermin
your basic chav is usually 15-18 but can however, progress into early 20s before realising what idiots they have been and what they have do to screw up their life for ever.
chavs are easily recognised, they hang around on street corners, smoking cheap ciggarettes and wearing fake sportswear.
the usual chav speaks in a language that normal people can't understand without a translator. the chav language's sentances will always start with "yerr bruvv" and end with "innit".
the female form of a chav goes by the name of chavette. these girls are usually between the ages of 10-13 and instead of finding a chav their age to mate with, they settle for one which is 2-3 years older. chavettes will usually produce more than 5 baby chavs who will live only with the chavette, as the father chav is in prison.
now you have the infomation you need, go now. and avoid this species of human.
your basic chav is usually 15-18 but can however, progress into early 20s before realising what idiots they have been and what they have do to screw up their life for ever.
chavs are easily recognised, they hang around on street corners, smoking cheap ciggarettes and wearing fake sportswear.
the usual chav speaks in a language that normal people can't understand without a translator. the chav language's sentances will always start with "yerr bruvv" and end with "innit".
the female form of a chav goes by the name of chavette. these girls are usually between the ages of 10-13 and instead of finding a chav their age to mate with, they settle for one which is 2-3 years older. chavettes will usually produce more than 5 baby chavs who will live only with the chavette, as the father chav is in prison.
now you have the infomation you need, go now. and avoid this species of human.
by SoLameImKool October 05, 2007
A cancerous polyp on the metaphorical anus of the UK.
Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.
Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.
The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.
Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.
The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.
But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.
Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.
The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.
Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.
The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.
But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Imchavinitblud
by The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu August 16, 2010
A chav is a kind of wanker who destroys the United Kingdom most chavs are on the dole or steal and sell knocked off gear.
The most common place to find chavs are on a social networking site by the name of bebo. The main place you see a chav is lurking around at your nearest corner shop or even on the high street or McDonalds (Chavs are known to call McDonalds Mcey Ds and why cause there retarded). Chav are also known to be scared of classic music as stores play it to keep the chavs out. Chavs are that retarded as if there chav mate walks into a store with classic music playing they take it as they like that style of music which ends up kicking them out of the pack.
To know what a chav looks like they are covered in Jewellery or even Cheap Jewellery which was stolen from there last victim they last took out. Chavs also look common and continently frown just to make them self look hard.
A chavette which is a girl chav is most likely to have a baby at the age of 14 as they will date anyone as they come across like some cheap hoe. Still chavette are a bit like the male species of a chav they are common and try to look hard
Chavs hunt around in packs like wolfs searching for there next victim. Looking at a chav even just glancing they will take it very serious as this is one of the most common sayings from chav getting ready to fight "YER FUCKIN STARTIN ON ME KNOBHEAD!!????!!!!".
A chav is also known to make some of the most pathetic and retarded style of language here is some examples Innit/Ennit , Blud, Mint, Brap/Prap, Bruv.
The music chavs listen most commonly is rave which they do play on the back on any bus with there mobile phone trying to get the attention of old women and to make them self look more cool and hard. Chavs also drive around in some cheap banger with a shit load of crap adding to the car driving around listen to rave throughout the day and night.
Chavs also tuck on there socks into there trousers which just makes them feel harder but this just makes them look more retarded. A chav seem to wear Burberry but it's not just that they even do wear matching tracksuits but you can also tell a chav because there common accent.
The most common place to find chavs are on a social networking site by the name of bebo. The main place you see a chav is lurking around at your nearest corner shop or even on the high street or McDonalds (Chavs are known to call McDonalds Mcey Ds and why cause there retarded). Chav are also known to be scared of classic music as stores play it to keep the chavs out. Chavs are that retarded as if there chav mate walks into a store with classic music playing they take it as they like that style of music which ends up kicking them out of the pack.
To know what a chav looks like they are covered in Jewellery or even Cheap Jewellery which was stolen from there last victim they last took out. Chavs also look common and continently frown just to make them self look hard.
A chavette which is a girl chav is most likely to have a baby at the age of 14 as they will date anyone as they come across like some cheap hoe. Still chavette are a bit like the male species of a chav they are common and try to look hard
Chavs hunt around in packs like wolfs searching for there next victim. Looking at a chav even just glancing they will take it very serious as this is one of the most common sayings from chav getting ready to fight "YER FUCKIN STARTIN ON ME KNOBHEAD!!????!!!!".
A chav is also known to make some of the most pathetic and retarded style of language here is some examples Innit/Ennit , Blud, Mint, Brap/Prap, Bruv.
The music chavs listen most commonly is rave which they do play on the back on any bus with there mobile phone trying to get the attention of old women and to make them self look more cool and hard. Chavs also drive around in some cheap banger with a shit load of crap adding to the car driving around listen to rave throughout the day and night.
Chavs also tuck on there socks into there trousers which just makes them feel harder but this just makes them look more retarded. A chav seem to wear Burberry but it's not just that they even do wear matching tracksuits but you can also tell a chav because there common accent.
A great example of this is model Jordan and also internet scum bag by the name of
Devvo, The Catherine Tate Show does a skit of a chav called Lauren Cooper, not forgetting Vicky Pollard from the show Little Britain which sums it all up what the chav is.
Devvo, The Catherine Tate Show does a skit of a chav called Lauren Cooper, not forgetting Vicky Pollard from the show Little Britain which sums it all up what the chav is.
by god_of_gods August 06, 2008
1. See also wangsta, townie.
2. A youth who claims to be "Gangsta".
3. A chav would commonly wear a Burberry baseball cap at a high or jaunty angle, a t-shirt and trackies from such labels as Kappa, Addidas, and Nike, and Reebok Classics, as well as fake jewellry, which to them is known as "bling".
4. Chav's are given many names, such as Townies, and Cackers.
5. People who aren't chavs refer to those who are as scum. This is because they are known to cause havoc throughout Council estates and otherwise.
6. Chav's are generlly known to be uneducated thieves. They usually resort to stealing bling from Jewelers.
7. Chav's cannot pronounce words properly. They use extreme slang terms, such as "Innit", "Ahhh, is 'ardcore mate" and "This bling is fuckin' safe yeah".
8. They are the mortal enemies of skater's and goth's, for an unknown reason.
2. A youth who claims to be "Gangsta".
3. A chav would commonly wear a Burberry baseball cap at a high or jaunty angle, a t-shirt and trackies from such labels as Kappa, Addidas, and Nike, and Reebok Classics, as well as fake jewellry, which to them is known as "bling".
4. Chav's are given many names, such as Townies, and Cackers.
5. People who aren't chavs refer to those who are as scum. This is because they are known to cause havoc throughout Council estates and otherwise.
6. Chav's are generlly known to be uneducated thieves. They usually resort to stealing bling from Jewelers.
7. Chav's cannot pronounce words properly. They use extreme slang terms, such as "Innit", "Ahhh, is 'ardcore mate" and "This bling is fuckin' safe yeah".
8. They are the mortal enemies of skater's and goth's, for an unknown reason.
Some chav quotes:
Le's do some fuckin' skaaaag yeah mate.
You want some beef muthafucka?
Why d'yoo dress in black you greb caaaaunt?
Le's do some fuckin' skaaaag yeah mate.
You want some beef muthafucka?
Why d'yoo dress in black you greb caaaaunt?
by omgm7kk May 03, 2005
Chavs are unsociable little buggers who have as much brains as a penally deprived gorila.
imagine this, your walking down the road and hen some butt monkey comes up to you and says" ya start'in bruv" you ignore it and start walking again , then the little window licker say "Yeah! Keep walking innit bling bling foe shigidy" leading to much hatred and wishing to make them bleed.
imagine this, your walking down the road and hen some butt monkey comes up to you and says" ya start'in bruv" you ignore it and start walking again , then the little window licker say "Yeah! Keep walking innit bling bling foe shigidy" leading to much hatred and wishing to make them bleed.
Chavs are everwhere and they will never go untill we all put aside our differences and officially murder them all and crucify them.
by Cyberax and Deathmonkey December 31, 2005
Chav (lazyus scumbagius).
WHERE CAN YOU FIND THEM?:
.outside the local spar
.street corners
.council estates
.mc donalds, burger king etc.
APPERANCE:
Males:
.hair cut short with highlights in (innit)
.fake bling, chains with dollar signs on etc.
.burberry, adidas or nike tracksuit
.baseball cap at a ninety degree angle
.cheap polo shirt with the collar sticking up
.anything fred perry
.any sort of knackered white trainer
Females:
.hair in a ponytail with a fluorescent hair band (scrunchie)
.puffa jacket and tracksuit bottoms or a velour tracksuit
.fluorecent pop socks with the the tracksuit bottoms tucked into them
.reebok trainers
HOBBIES:
.standing on street corners shouting abuse at anyone
.vandalising local parks
.in mc donalds eating their manky fast food really messily
.riding a ridiculously small mini motor bike around the local park.
.drinking cheap cider or alcopops in local parks or anywhere thats got a bench because their legs get very tired you know (and also they like to rip the bench out of the ground for a laff)
VOCABULARY:
the common garden chav is unable to speak properly so it uses dumbed down versions of correct english, here is a list of the words they mostly use:
.Mutha
.ya
.yo
.mint
.u
.yer
.wot
.wowza
.fuka
.class (probably the only real word they can say)
.laff
.innit
.dat
.cwl
(scientists have been trying to work this language out for twenty years and they still haven't figured it out)
MUSIC:
.gangsta rap
.r&b
.hip hop
.grime
(as you can see it's a BIG variety)
by the way i'm 12 and this is my first time writing in.
WHERE CAN YOU FIND THEM?:
.outside the local spar
.street corners
.council estates
.mc donalds, burger king etc.
APPERANCE:
Males:
.hair cut short with highlights in (innit)
.fake bling, chains with dollar signs on etc.
.burberry, adidas or nike tracksuit
.baseball cap at a ninety degree angle
.cheap polo shirt with the collar sticking up
.anything fred perry
.any sort of knackered white trainer
Females:
.hair in a ponytail with a fluorescent hair band (scrunchie)
.puffa jacket and tracksuit bottoms or a velour tracksuit
.fluorecent pop socks with the the tracksuit bottoms tucked into them
.reebok trainers
HOBBIES:
.standing on street corners shouting abuse at anyone
.vandalising local parks
.in mc donalds eating their manky fast food really messily
.riding a ridiculously small mini motor bike around the local park.
.drinking cheap cider or alcopops in local parks or anywhere thats got a bench because their legs get very tired you know (and also they like to rip the bench out of the ground for a laff)
VOCABULARY:
the common garden chav is unable to speak properly so it uses dumbed down versions of correct english, here is a list of the words they mostly use:
.Mutha
.ya
.yo
.mint
.u
.yer
.wot
.wowza
.fuka
.class (probably the only real word they can say)
.laff
.innit
.dat
.cwl
(scientists have been trying to work this language out for twenty years and they still haven't figured it out)
MUSIC:
.gangsta rap
.r&b
.hip hop
.grime
(as you can see it's a BIG variety)
by the way i'm 12 and this is my first time writing in.
typical chav conversation
PAIGE: yo chaz lwk wot i nicked from da dentis *<pulls a ok magazine from last year out of her tracksuit bottoms>*
CHAZ:cor wowza it got dem pics' of Jordan an Peta innit an look wot keri katonas bin doin.
GAZ: hey Paige I shagged ur mam las nigt.
All: teehee teehee
PAIGE: yo chaz lwk wot i nicked from da dentis *<pulls a ok magazine from last year out of her tracksuit bottoms>*
CHAZ:cor wowza it got dem pics' of Jordan an Peta innit an look wot keri katonas bin doin.
GAZ: hey Paige I shagged ur mam las nigt.
All: teehee teehee
by INDIE FTW June 28, 2009