Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 4, 2007
Get the charter communications mug.1. Two days a week, two hours a day, two reasons to get fucked up the rest of the time.
2. Summer vacation 24/7
3. Either here for two reasons; you want to get done with school early (over achieving bitch) or your the person they had to fucking pull into class and duct tape your eyes open.
4. No matter their age, size, race, or appearance; they smoke weed. (No need to ask, just pass.)
5. Wasn't your first choice but hope it's the last.
2. Summer vacation 24/7
3. Either here for two reasons; you want to get done with school early (over achieving bitch) or your the person they had to fucking pull into class and duct tape your eyes open.
4. No matter their age, size, race, or appearance; they smoke weed. (No need to ask, just pass.)
5. Wasn't your first choice but hope it's the last.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
There is no chirping birds.
There is no smell of fresh coffee.
The toast is not being made.
Your mom's not in your room yelling at you to get up.
It's your homie with a blunt ready to smoke.
Yeah thats Charter School of San Diego.
There is no chirping birds.
There is no smell of fresh coffee.
The toast is not being made.
Your mom's not in your room yelling at you to get up.
It's your homie with a blunt ready to smoke.
Yeah thats Charter School of San Diego.
by Crazy K & Lizzy April 28, 2008
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Thank god the Charter School of Wilmington is a thing, otherwise nothing but autism would be pouring out of that building.
by Reyals Reggin February 14, 2017
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Get the Odyssey charter school mug.A boy, usually in highschool, who lets people rent out his shoes. They are exceptionally large shoes, and are generally furnished with pictures of dinosaurs . The most valued customer at the Charter ShoePlaza is always the D'Amico , regardless of the time of day, or if renovations are being done.
The Charter always gives amazing hugs, and has an extremely distinct smell. Charters can play guitar and write breath-taking song lyrics, they're pretty much amazing all around.
The Charter always gives amazing hugs, and has an extremely distinct smell. Charters can play guitar and write breath-taking song lyrics, they're pretty much amazing all around.
by Shirley or Ronald ? June 18, 2010
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