Beached Whale

A beached whale is a piece of poop so large that it leaves the water of the toilet. This usually leaves a mark as well because the poop touches directly onto the dry part of the toilet. It can often be bragged about between guys. However, girls will not be impressed by the feat of a beached whale and will most likely result in her not wanting to have sex with you.

Guy 1: Dude, I left I huge beached whale in the toilet yesterday. It was like the third one of my whole life.

Guy 2: Awesome, you should have taken a picture.

Guy: Hey, I have a picture of the beached whale I left in the toilet yesterday. Do you want to see it?

Girl: Ew, you're disgusting. I will never have sex with you.

by tehsheriff May 25, 2009

beached whale

a female, whose body closely resembles that of a beached sperm whale.

i can't believe you slept with that beached whale. i.e. Leah

by luke detty May 13, 2005

boot hole in a beached whale carcass

An extrememly overwieght woman's vagina.

That chick was sooo fat, her cooze looked like someone kicked a boot hole in a beached whale carcass.

by Big Richard May 31, 2005

Beached

Excessively overweight. Origin: beached whale

That girl is to beached to wear skinny jeans.

by Walllllllllly February 19, 2011

beached

To insult or offend someone you are close to or are friendly with, unprovoked.

To drop a nuclear-insult on someone, with no prior warning, for no reason.

--often followed by immediately walking away after issuing the insult and ignoring any commentary or reply from the victim.

Dusty (walks into your office without knocking): You're pretty gay today. I'm sure your dad's proud, since he likes the dong, too. (turns on his heel and leaves)

Victim (stammering): ...wha...well...hey! Your dad like to...shit. Too late. He walked away.

Victim's Office Mate: Bro...you just got beached!

by Ottoman Humper June 16, 2010

The Beached Whale

The commonly seen attempt of topping out on your climbing route. Involves laying on your stomach while flailing your arms and legs. Often unsuccessful. To see this phenomynon just take a trip up to your local climbing craigs, sit back, and wait. You won't miss it!

Bystander 1: Hey. Look! What's that guy doing ontop of that rock?

Bystander 2: Aw man, he's tryin' the beached whale! It's not gonna work!

by BestClimbersYou'llEverNotMeet May 28, 2010

breacher

A turd that breaks or "breaches" the surface of the water in the toilet. Ideally without touching the sides although this variety is still a breacher it is refered to as the "leaner" variety.

How is your day going? Great, I had a breacher this morning!

by unsub April 2, 2005