Don't Look At My Newspaper!

A humorous expression used to ask someone not to invade one's personal space or pry into what they are currently viewing or reading, especially in public settings. Originating from an encounter where an individual defensively closed his newspaper on a train when others commented on its contents, the phrase playfully asserts one's desire for privacy without direct confrontation.

"Hey, stop trying to see my messages—don't look at my newspaper!"

Don't Look At My Newspaper! by 2Bobs May 5, 2024

National Don't Answer at Your Scheduled Time Day 

Today July 12th is the day you will schedule an interview and then not show up, as a way to communicate with the world your pride in being an unprofessional, unemployable jerk

"Oh, Happy National Don't Answer at Your Scheduled Time Day! I'm so glad you decided not to observe this holiday, and feel we can be the best of friends."

National Don't Answer at Your Scheduled Time Day by elemenopeeeee July 12, 2022

Can't even look at you 

The phrase used by a girl when you're so good looking that she can't even look at you because it turns them on so much that they might do something in public with you that may go viral or get them arrested.

Camila: "Gosh you've been hitting the gym hard ughh, baby I can't even look at you"

Can't even look at you by DannyDimes April 2, 2021

don't chase two hares at once

( погонища за двумя зайцеми не одного не роймаешь, in Russian) : don't do two things at once

If you want to do two jobs, and both of them well, don't chase two hares at once.

don't chase two hares at once by Uncle Dimma January 27, 2015

Don't try this at home 

Phrase often used in TV shows. When people in it do stupid, dangerous or crazy things and show them to millions of people and they don't want to be responsible for injuries, deaths or any consequences that could happen to the audience. They cover themselves from any lawsuit, charge or accusation but still do it looking cool captivating the audience

Cool guy 1: "Remember kids, don't try this at home!"

*cool guy 1 breaks a brick with his head*

Cool guy 2: "Now see this. Don't try this at home!"

*cool guy 2 gets in a shopping cart and jumps into the ocean*

Don't try this at home by zipsssss June 13, 2010

At least I don't jack off to a picture of my mom 

The comeback to end all comebacks. Even superior to Yeah, well your mom was really good last night. Use only when in dire need.

Bob gasped when Bill said the fateful words.

At least I don't jack off to a picture of my mom by Militant Liberal April 6, 2005

I can't do two things at once 

A fact known to all men and universally discredited by women.

"The dog needs to go out, right away" she said, as he was balancing on the top of rung the ladder, not only changing the bulb but cradling the fragile glass globe. "And please take the towels out of the dryer, before they start to smell moldy."

"I can't do two things at once" he replied, but she could not hear him, polishing her nails, talking to her mother on the phone and finalizing the Etsy order for Kleenex box holders, reminding him... "I need you to tell me which of these patterns you prefer".

I can't do two things at once by Monkey's Dad August 30, 2023