tardpole

Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.

"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."

by MJDP May 4, 2008

Shooting tadpoles at the moon.

Squirting cum after male masturbation.

As he gazed into the starry night and gave a final squeeze and tug to his blood-engorged cock, long streams of spooge squirted skyward. He felt as though he were shooting tadpoles at the moon.

by mtspacey March 2, 2011

Tadpole Cannon

Your penis when used for ejaculatory puposes. Your tadpoles (sperm) are generally shot from your cannon into the toad hole (vagina). Abbreviated TPC.

Man, I totally fired my Tadpole Cannon in her toad hole.

My Tadpole Cannon kinda burns after all of the toad hole I got this weekend, do you think I have somthing?

I need to reload my tadpole cannon, I am out of ammo after spending the weekend in the swamp.

I need to keep my tadpole cannon holstered.

by Three Chauches October 18, 2006

Tadpole vision

Altered state of mind in a man caused by lack of sex. As if the tadpoles (sperm) are backing up to behind the eyes, affecting the vision. Can make average women appear extremely attractive. In extreme cases EVERY woman seems attractive.

Dude, did you just check out my grandma's ass?

Sorry bro, I need to get laid, I've got mad tadpole vision!

by path of least resistance January 27, 2010

squished tadpole

When a drunk old man takes his schlong out and rams it into a window while yelling out the phrase "Squished tadpole! Squished Tadpole!" Often done while over consuming cheap and hard alcohol.

I was relaxing in my car the other day and I looked over and seen Gaylords squished Tadpole.

by Hcaz Sakraf November 29, 2006

tadpole240

A tadpole240 is 240 times the noob of a regular noob, he doesn't know anything about gaming, and doesn't keep up with the news. (tadpole = beginner, 240 = x240 times a noob)

"Welcome to Beginner's Quarry"

"Where am I?"

"FFS, tadpole240..."

by 50sora April 10, 2010

Minnesota tadpole

When your dick shrivels up due to cold weather

It was so cold that my dick shriveled into a Minnesota tadpole

by Slim jimmy 69 May 6, 2016