A 5'5" Millennial douchebag who likes to
bang women twice his age, wears kids shoe size 11s, punches like a girl, drinks Natty Ice, hates
people who smoke cigarettes, but fills a bottle of Mtn Dew with spit in one
day with Coppenhagen Wintergreen, drives a fucked up Chevy Monte Carlo, and has a shitty goatee.