"Yo I walked in on my hot ass mom getting it on with some short fat guy with a beard!"
"That was Ron Jeremy, man...face it, your mom's a porn star. Here, look at this 12-step program...it might help."
God bless Ron Jeremy! You know if he wasn't a porn star, he couldn't get laid without paying for it! And the only reason he's a porn star is because he is blesse with a 10-inch schlong!
A pot-bellied, butt-ugly Jewish guy with a huge penis (around 9 “real” – not AOL inches) who was a porn superstar during the 1970s and ‘80s urban “grindhouse” heyday. He was ugly enough every man in American likely to venture into a seedy, semen-stained pre-internet porno theater could identify with him, and his freakish endowment provided the necessary vicarious fantasy fulfillment the less endowed, but likely pot-bellied, audience sought. Unlike the cadaverously creepy John Holmes, he survived the “AIDS eighties” and is still active in the industry as a producer, director, and (believe it or not) occasional actor. One of his more recent “starring” roles was in a film entitled, appropriately, “One Eyed Monster.”
I showed this girl I am interested in a face and body photo of Ron Jeremy alongside a close up shot of my fully erect 5.5 inch penis, and to my utter dismay, she told me she would rather go to bed with me.