A mysterious condition affecting certain grown women who have the emotional regulation of a middle-school group chat. Symptoms include: a self-inflated ego, selective amnesia about every bad decision they’ve ever made & a deep belief that the world is “intimidated” by them—when in reality
people are just tired of them. She talks
like she’
s the CEO of “
High Value Women,” but her résumé is mostly drama internships & accountability gaps. Claims she is “brutally honest” (translation: rude) & chronically “misunderstood” (translation: exhausting), but she's just spiritually allergic to self-awareness. Classic traits include: judging everyone
like she’s on a reality show panel & confusing attention for respect. Common habitat: the comments section, other
people’s relationships, & any situation where attention is available in bulk.”
WARNING:
May cause chronic self-importance & aggressive confidence unsupported by facts. Side effects include: public superiority complexes, private insecurity, & an inability to hear the
words “maybe you’re the problem”. Do not operate near accountability, boundaries, or women with actual self-respect. Prolonged exposure
may lead to fatigue, eye strain from constant side-eye, &
friends quietly going “busy” for the next 6 months.
Directions: Take 1 compliment every 30 minutes or symptoms worsen.
Do not mix with: consequences, criticism, or reality.
Keep away from: group chats, weddings, anyone’s
boyfriend.
If symptoms persist: she will blame you.
