The erection that one finds themselves with over the course of the school day. This erection always occurs when ones mind wanders off from the lecture at hand during the last 2 minutes before the period is over. This occurs as a means to create the awkward "boner tuck" or "boner shield" created by notebooks to prevent it from being seen. The boner is not a direct result of any sexual fantasy, but as a way of your body playing the "let's see how awkward this can get" game.. Tricky bastard
"What is he doing with his notebooks?"
"Oh dude, he totally has drift-wood and is shielding"
"RYAN HAS A BONER!" (Yell to everyone in the hall)
Noun: An erection that is wasted or not put to use; Wood that never finds its port and is thus worn away/beaten and eventually gives up.
When Rhiana, the neighbor, asked if I wanted to "watch a movie" I thought for sure we'd get down. To my chagrin, we literally watched a movie while my driftwood bobbed in vain on a hopeless, lonely, sea.
Driftwood Vagina is a condition when a case of Splinter Pussy goes untreated for a length of time. Symptoms include; moldy smell, moss, and termites. People who suffer from Driftwood Vagina would often continue to leave their condition uncured as they were a dumb bitch to get Splinter Pussy in the first place.
Fred realized Selma had Driftwood Vagina when he pulled out with a caterpillar eating a leaf off his dick.