February 13th. February 14th, or Valentine's Day, is of course the perfect day for everyone with a sweetheart. So the day before is basically the day people make a last ditch effort to start scrambling for a rebound or when desperate a butterface but end up getting turned down by the same chicks who believe they deserve better but don'
t have
shit, not fucking
shit, not motherfucking
shit to offer back. You don't win on Rejection Day.
Kyle: Everyone's talking about how great tomorrow's gonna be because they get to spend it doing romantic stuff like cuddling and watching movies and eating candlelit dinner. Maybe I'll go find a girl so I
don'
t feel left out.
Jake: Dude, you'll end up with some chick that just broke up with another guy or a girl with the best body with a horrible face, besides either way you'll get turned down. You can't win.
Kyle: Just watch me. *goes to a bar and sees some
random blonde*
Hey, you look gorgeous. Maybe we could hook up?
Random Blonde: I just broke up with some
douchebag, I'm not ready for another relationship because I feel like I deserve better than a guy who brought me roses and chocolate while I was in the hospital after surgery, leaving him to pay all the bills and cook dinner.
Kyle: Oh... Right. Take care. *walks away and sees a chick from behind, noting her beautiful body* Excuse me, I couldn't
help but notice...*girl turns around, revealing the most inhuman face known to man* ...OH GOD. *temporary blindness from her ugly face*
Butterface Girl: Hi, I'm
Stacy. If you're looking for me to be your
girlfriend I'm sorry, but no.
Kyle: I'm just gonna go curl up and cry now. *goes back to Jake*
Jake: What did I tell you? You can never win on Rejection Day.
Kyle: *sobs* DAMN YOU, Rejection Day!