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You are a reade if you are kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic.
Wow he’s clearly a reade! He’s suave.
reade by FRIENDS IS LIFEEE September 29, 2017
Related Words

James Reade 

Tall man, very seggsy, sucks big tiny dick
Oh no, James Reade is suckin dick again! He is good at it though
James Reade by Lê Masturbator November 11, 2020

Pisani-Reade Effect 

When someone or a group of people lie and make false accusations for serious crimes, including rape, pedophilia, etc in order to hide the fact that they're either doing something just as bad if not worse than the person they're accusing or trying to con people that support them in a mega grifting scheme. People that participate in such activities will also harass, guilt trip and back stab other people behind their backs while pretending to care about said person to their face. They also have a large victimization complex where they pretend that they're the victims when they get caught
Did you hear about those people that were lying and falsely accusing that kid of being a creep because of something super arbitrary and stupid?
Oh great did the Pisani-Reade effect hit the fandom?
Pisani-Reade Effect by astie January 4, 2021

charlotte reade 

hottest person alive! party’s so hard and can get any guy she wants! fashion is her forte but she is also intelligent socially and economically! if you want a friend she is your gal!
this party isn’t fun! where is charlotte reade?!
charlotte reade by crumbl May 18, 2021

Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!

reading slump 

a readers worst nightmare.

not being able to pick up a book and read because you just can't, you just can't read.
person 1: "what's the matter with you?"
reader: " I CAN'T READ , NO BOOK IS GOOD ENOUGH, LEAVE ME ALONE, READING SLUMP

person 1: uhm..... okay.